


seasoaked

by beecalm



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sailing, M/M, Non-graphic injuries, Slow Burn, that good rivals to friends to lovers trope, the sailing au that nobody asked for, they really take their time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-26 17:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beecalm/pseuds/beecalm
Summary: By the rulebook, Kageyama can’t pass him- by the direction of the wind and his position in the water, he has to give way. But they’re far ahead of everyone else, and Kageyama seesred, so he cuts through the water, the wind and waves bending at his will and then-The wind changes, storm clouds gathering, and Kageyama’s boat crashes directly into Hinata’s.in which there's only one thing Kageyama hates more than bad weather- and that's the way Hinata grins when he sails into first place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just to preface: I have never actually been sailing in my life- all sailing-related info is based on many tabs worth of research and a whole load of hoping for the best, so please forgive any errors! this is entirely fuelled by the fact that I love the sea and the idea of sailing, but am terrified of boats, so why not just project my love of the water onto the haikyuu boys instead! 
> 
> for reference, the boats they are using in this are sailing dinghies and look something like [this](https://dbscweb.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/laser1.jpg)
> 
> split into 2 parts because this turned out way longer than it should have- part 2 will be up within the next few days!

Kageyama Tobio pulls up to the finishing line of the July series regatta in second place- a whole six seconds behind Hinata Shouyou. A whole six seconds; which brings Hinata’s number of gold medals up to 15, while Kageyama’s floats depressingly at the 13 mark. 

** **

A sigh sticks and dies in his throat as Kageyama catches the breeze and steers his boat in towards the shore, following the lead of the competitors who pulled into third, fourth and fifth place behind him. Now that he’s not slicing through the waves- spray and surf catching in his hair and eyelashes and the wind lifting him as if he were flying- he can feel the rope-burn on his palms from where he lost his grip half way through the course, and the ache in his arms left after wrestling with the changeable wind. 

** **

“Thanks for a good race!” From his own boat, Hinata grins, his orange hair windswept and brittle from the saltwater. His face is red- from cold or excitement, Kageyama can’t tell- and he wobbles as he hops off the edge of his boat, sinking up to his waist in the water that leads up to the shoreline. Kageyama knows the statement isn’t directed to him, knows that Hinata _ always _thanks his opponents whether he comes first or last, but it still strikes a familiar feeling of annoyance, settling ugly in the centre of his chest. 

** **

_ Just rub it in deeper, why don’t you. _

** **

“Don’t be bitter,” A hand claps against Kageyama’s shoulder as he hauls his boat ashore, Sugawara reading his expressions as good as ever. “You’re from the same sailing club- as long as _ one _ of you wins, that’s good.” And with that he leaves again, trailing water behind him as he goes to check his points score. 

** **

But it’s_ hard _, Kageyama thinks, not to be bitter. Not to fixate on the way that Hinata had sailed up alongside him then whisked past, grinning like the sun as the waves pushed him onwards with cold, salt-flecked fingers.

** **

Because Hinata’s technique is sloppy- he catches the wind badly, throws himself haphazard under the sail boom in a way that almost capsizes his boat, passing people on the wrong side and almost crashing more times than Kageyama can count on _ both _hands. But he’s fast- faster than anyone Kageyama has ever seen, in a way that makes it look like he’s flying rather than sailing, wings extending out as he passes Kageyama again and again and again. And all the while he grins, like the sea is his home and even the coldest of waves fill his chest with warmth.

** **

For every one of Hinata’s reckless movements, Kageyama _ plans _. Every movement is considered in advance, backed up by research of the course and the wind patterns, through careful observation and documentation of where everyone is at all times. But for all his careful planning, all of his knowledge of sailing techniques and strategy, Hinata still wins. 

** **

Logic tells him that Hinata must just sail a better boat, that he’s smaller and lighter so he must go faster- Kageyama would be willing to accept any explanation. But regardless of what handicaps they put on him, no matter how much of a head start everyone else gets, every race ends up the same- head to head, with Hinata pulling up alongside him and riding the winds that Kageyama spent hours planning for as if it were as easy as breathing.

** **

If Hinata’s technique was simply better, then Kageyama would just accept it and move on (Sugawara had raised his eyebrows, disbelieving, upon hearing that- because when would Kageyama Tobio ever settle for anything _ less _than perfect). But to lose to such sloppy, childish movements-

** **

A loose stone slips from under Kageyama’s foot as he leads his boat out of the water, and his boat tips on its side, the sail almost crashing down directly onto Hinata. 

** **

“Watch where you’re going!” Conspiratory forces must be at play, Kageyama thinks, as fiery orange hair and wet water shoes stomp into his field of vision. “Idiot!” Hinata tacks onto the end for good measure once he’s close enough to meet Kageyama’s eyes directly. He stands on his tiptoes, face screwed up in a frown.

** **

“Is that supposed to make you look taller?” Kageyama questions as he stoops down to tip his boat back upright. Hinata bristles beside him.

** **

“Not everyone can be a giant like you,” He states, indignant. “I’m surprised you can even fit your legs into your boat!” When Kageyama looks up again, Hinata has his hands on his hips and he’s scowling, an expression that would probably appear threatening on anyone else. Instead, it just kindles something like mild annoyance in Kageyama- the same sort that would come from dropping food on the floor, or finding a loud insect in his room. 

** **

“Well maybe I’m surprised that you don’t-” 

** **

“Are you planning to stand here until the tide comes in, or are you going to come and pick up your medals?” Daichi, self-proclaimed captain of their sailing club (mainly because he’s the only person everyone will actually _ listen _ to), calls for them across the beach, beckoning from where he stands with the rest of the group. All his races had finished earlier in the day so he’s already changed out of his wetsuit, although his hair still sticks up in damp, sea-soaked spikes. 

** **

_ Right, second place. _

** **

Kageyama resumes the task of hauling his boat further up the beach. If he feels like throwing one of his water shoes in Hinata’s face as he sticks his tongue out and collects his gold medal, Kageyama doesn’t follow through with it.

** **

-

** **

The thing Kageyama likes best about home races is that he doesn’t have to put up with the ordeal of loading his boat onto a trailer and carting it along the seafront roads in rush-hour, sitting wet-haired in the back of the sailing club van. Instead, it’s just a short trek up the beach to the clubhouse, wheeling boats into the storage yard and fighting over the limited tarpaulins that are free of holes.

** **

However the thing Kageyama values most is the extra time to look after his boat.

** **

By technicality, the boat belongs to the sailing club, not to him. But in sentiment, it’s as much a part of Kageyama as any of his limbs. It’s an extension of himself, from its lightweight sail to the words painted along its hull- _ King of the Waves _, spelled out in his mother’s looped handwriting. If someone joked to him that he spent more time in his boat than he did asleep in his own bed, they likely wouldn’t even be wrong. 

** **

Over time, Kageyama has developed a detailed maintenance routine, checking the hull for scratches, testing the movement of the tiller, the rotation of the boom, the condition of the sails and the mainsail ropes. The other members of the club leave him to it, packing up their things and de-rigging their boats one by one as Ukai reminds them to be at the clubhouse on time in the morning. He backs himself up with threats of laps around the docks in the cold morning water for anyone who shows up late. 

** **

Kageyama is only half listening, comforted by the sweep of his fingertips across the hull of his boat. The familiar actions allow him temporary reprieve from the frustration that roils in his gut at losing to Hinata once again. He reaches for his cloth to polish away a small scratch, left from where his boat toppled over on the shore earlier.

** **

“Lock up when you’re done, yeah?” Ukai doesn’t tell him to finish up and leave any more- because Kageyama is nothing if not stubborn, and no amount of pushing and shoving could convince him to move until he’s satisfied. He knows where the spare keys are kept, anyway.

** **

From over by the door, Hinata stands next to his bike, hands in his pockets and the ribbon of his gold medal trailing out of the front compartment of his bag. 

** **

Kageyama turns away, but he can feel Hinata’s eyes on him regardless.

** **

-

** **

When Kageyama wakes up the following morning his arms are aching, a sure indicator that he forgot to stretch them out the night before. Pausing briefly to condemn Yesterday-Kageyama’s decisions, he reaches over to turn off the alarm on his phone. While waking up at 7am gives him plenty of time to get ready and walk over to the clubhouse- both before Ukai’s cutoff point and before Hinata gets there too- it also earns the distaste of every other person able to hear his alarm tone.

** **

The walk to the sailing club is a pleasant one- leading Kageyama down a path that runs directly along the seafront. It’s quiet still, shopfronts all closed up from the previous day and only a few cars passing by on the road that runs adjacent to the path. Kageyama focuses on the sound of the waves rocking their way into the shore, the gulls that soar overhead, the boats that bob steadily in the docks, waiting to be set free into the open waters. The air tastes like salt, washing in from the sea like a breath of life, and Kageyama’s hands itch to be out there, with nothing but the sky overhead and the water below him, carrying him ever forward.

** **

Because out on the water- things are simple. It’s just him, his boat and the whole world at his fingertips. 

** **

_ “Anyone would think you had salt water in you instead of blood.” _His mother would quip to him, when he came home soaked to the bone, rope-burn on his hands and his heart soaring in his chest. And as Kageyama sits down by the docks, the tips of his shoes skimming the water below, he can’t help but agree.

** **

The wind picks up as Kageyama pulls his breakfast out of his bag, and the cold edge to it sparks a momentary wish that he had brought a warmer jacket. He checks the weather app on his phone, taking note of the wind speed and direction, and plan of how to tackle the practice race Ukai had promised begins to form in his mind. Breakfast suddenly the last thing on his mind, Kageyama packs up his things and runs. 

** **

Beside him, the waves grow higher, as if they can feel his anticipation. 

** **

Kageyama makes it to the clubhouse exactly five minutes before Hinata does, a small victory, but one he stores away in the back of his mind nonetheless- useful for future gloating purposes. 

** **

“Why’s it got so windy all of a sudden,” Hinata frowns as he locks his bike up, bright hair looking significantly more windswept than usual. “I almost got blown clean off the path.” As he speaks, he reaches up to fix his hair, tangling his fingers through it in a way that only succeeds in making it more messy. 

** **

Kageyama forces down the urge to fix it himself, frustrated.

** **

“The route you’ll be sailing for the practice race is similar to the solo regatta course from yesterday,” Ukai addresses them once the majority of the club has arrived, all in various states of consciousness (Kageyama thinks he spots Tanaka sleeping face down on the table in the corner, until Nishinoya slaps him hard on the back.) “Except there will be some alterations, just to accommodate the wind speeds.”

** **

He maps out the route on the whiteboard in the corner of the club room, having to lean off-kilter to avoid a pile of oars that someone from the kayaking group had spilled as he uses magnets to mark out the locations of the buoys. The course is a simple one, stretching from the sailing club to the docks and back, and it’s one Kageyama knows he has sailed many times, enough to kindle a spark of confidence that wasn’t quite there beforehand.

** **

_ This time _ \- he promises to himself- _ this time, he’ll win. _

** **

Outside, clouds have rolled in across the sky, a promise of rain, and Kageyama sees more than one person flinch. But Kageyama has been sailing in storms most of his life, thrown like a skipping stone across the waves as he catches the wind and sails on and on and on. Lightning could hit his mast, and it would do nothing but spur him onward.

** **

“It looks worse than it actually is,” Ukai doesn’t look entirely sure, but he tips his head in the direction of the boats waiting for them outside regardless. “Get kitted up and then we can go- before it starts pouring.”

** **

-

** **

“I’m gonna win again, no matter what it takes,” There’s a fire lit in Hinata’s eyes as he stops Kageyama on his way out of the changing rooms. By his sides, his hands are clenched white-knuckled into fists, as if the storm clouds from outside had followed him and settled, determined, in his chest. “I’m gonna keep winning until you take me seriously.” 

** **

Kageyama blinks, slow and measured, as he tries to force down the surprise that rises up in his throat like a bad taste. “I’d like to see you try.” 

** **

Hinata only frowns deeper- the expression looks out of place, Kageyama notes- then turns and walks off towards the boat-yard. The storm clouds, heavy and determined, chase after him. 

** **

Watching him leave, Kageyama lets out a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.

** **

-

** **

Hinata’s words linger in his mind as he pulls the tarpaulin off his boat, as he rigs up his sails, as he hauls it down to the water, as he sets himself afloat, steering his way through the waves to the starting line. 

** **

It’s only once Kageyama is lined up, leaned across the hull of his boat with the tiller in one hand and the ropes for the mainsail in the other, that he lets it go. Instead, he focuses on the wind, the course, the boats around him. The water below him collides with the side of his boat, scattering spray that catches in his hair. 

** **

He breathes- in and out to the lull of the waves- and the claxon goes off.

** **

The line of boats in front pull away from the starting line, those in less powerful boats given a head-start to make the race fair. Kageyama closes his eyes and counts down the seconds till his handicap time ends, preparing his body to jump into action. For a while, the world falls still. 

** **

The second claxon sounds.

** **

Kageyama pulls the rope, quickly finding the best position for the mainsail, before twisting the tiller hard, turning his boat out of the starting line and into the open water. He catches the wind almost immediately, speed picking up and the momentum causing him to lean further and further backwards, until the sea-spray skims the back of his head. He adjust the tiller again, changing direction and ducking as the boom attached to the sail swings over his head to accomodate for the alterations. He’s on course, skipping over the waves and catching up fast to the first group. In the distance, a third claxon sounds, indicating that Hinata’s handicap time is up.

** **

Kageyama forces down the urge to glance over his shoulder, and instead focuses his gaze, steadfast, on the end of the course in the distance. 

** **

He sails at an angle to compensate for the high winds that try to blow him off course, sail trimmed loosely to prevent the boat from capsizing. He keeps one hand on the mainsail rope, making small adjustments to his sail as he goes, slight changes which soon have him overtaking the first group, shouting to alert Sugawara of his presence before he skims past him.

** **

The water opens up in front of him, and he allows himself to breathe again, to focus on the sky above and the surf below him, the wind that rushes through his hair as he leans back and stares up into the clouds. There’s a gull wheeling overhead, its cries spiralling into the distance, and Kageyama believes he knows how it feels to fly. 

** **

Kageyama barely has time to consider what is happening, before Hinata has pulled up alongside his boat and overtaken him.

** **

When he glances over, Hinata isn’t smiling, the fire from earlier that burned in the back of his eyes has only grown stronger, spurred higher instead of being doused by the seawater. His knuckles are white around the tiller as he swerves, ducking under the boom, so he’s positioned close to Kageyama’s side. 

** **

_ I’m gonna win again, no matter what it takes. _

** **

Hinata’s movement changes the wind in Kageyama’s sail, and he has to quickly adjust the ropes, boat rocking in the water as if caught in a tremor, unsteady. It pushes him off course, and in the heartbeats it takes for him to right himself, Hinata is already sailing onward. His sails stretch into the sky like wings, and Kageyama swears he sees him _ grin. _

** **

_ I’m gonna win again, no matter what it takes. _

** **

_ And two can play at that game, _Kageyama thinks, as he turns his boat and careers through the waves, straight for Hinata. 

** **

By the rulebook, Kageyama can’t pass him- by the direction of the wind and his position in the water, he has to give way. But they’re far ahead of everyone else, and Kageyama sees _ red _, so he cuts through the water, the wind and waves bending at his will and then-

** **

The wind changes, storm clouds gathering, and Kageyama’s boat crashes directly into Hinata’s. 

** **

Kageyama feels the solid weight of his boat disappear from underneath him as the world flips upside down. And he panics, because he’s crashed before, but never anything like _ this, _ unable to see, unable to breathe, unsure which way is the sea and which way is the sky. Then the rope from the mainsail catches around his wrist and _ pulls _, and he’s hit with pain so intense that it makes him sick to his stomach. For a brief moment, his vision goes white.

** **

He doesn’t even remember hitting the water.

** **

-

** **

Kageyama wakes up with sand under his back and rain pouring down onto him from the sky, restored to its proper place above his head. There’s voices around him, but they’re muted and desaturated- little more than white noise in the back of his mind as he coughs salt water from his lungs and stares blindly into the storm clouds above.

** **

From somewhere to his left, he can hear someone crying, pained sobs that overflow and spill out through the white noise. In the corner of his vision, he catches orange hair, lingering sea-soaked in his peripheries, and for a while, Kageyama thinks it’s the only colour he can see.

** **

Then there’s a pair of hands on his arm, a muted apology_ , _ and _ pain, _enough to steal the breath right out of his lungs.

** **

The sky fades out of view once more.

** **

-

** **

“Just be thankful you weren’t killed,” It’s Ukai who sits in the back of the ambulance with them, face painted in an expression that’s one part anger and one part relief. “_ Both _ of you.”

** **

It would be too easy to blame Hinata for the whole accident, Kageyama thinks, as the paramedic examines his elbow- swollen from where it had been pulled clean out of the joint- and cleaning up the abrasion on his forehead from where he had collided with the rudder. But as the paramedic moves over to Hinata and offers him something cold to press against the torn muscles in his knee and the bruise under his eye, Kageyama, for all his anger and frustration, knows he’s the one at fault.

** **

It’s like the rain outside has dampened any semblance of the fire that had burned as he steered his boat too close, too fast, too hungry for victory to even _ think. _ So instead he sits, and listens to the downpour and the steady roll of the waves against the shore.

** **

Hinata looks in his direction, eyes red from crying and his hair still windswept, drying slowly in the suffocating air of the back of the ambulance. He meets Kageyama’s eyes, like he wants to say something, leaning forward in a way that puts pressure on his leg and causes him to wince. 

** **

Kageyama turns away, and his heart feels heavy inside of his chest.

** **

-

** **

“No physical activity for six weeks.” The doctor reels it off like a death sentence, in the aftermath of hours of X-rays to check the state of Kageyama’s recently dislocated elbow, light-headed on pain medication as they strung up his arm in a sling to prevent him moving it. 

** **

“Think you can survive that long?” His mother’s voice is heavy with concern, only thinly veiled by the amusement she tries to interject into her words. She takes a sheet of exercises from the doctor as she speaks, gentle ones designed to maintain mobility in his arm. Kageyama doesn’t respond, gazing down at the trainers his mother had brought him to replace the water-shoes he’d lost in the aftermath of the crash, scattered somewhere deep in the ocean. 

** **

He stays silent; when his mother offers Hinata a lift home from the hospital, when Hinata stumbles on his new crutches and almost knocks Kageyama off his feet while getting into the car, when his mother turns up the radio to drown out the sound of the rain outside. 

** **

Hinata fidgets in his seat, crutches propped up against the car door, and glances in Kageyama’s direction, like he’s waiting for him to say something, anything to break the silence. The clouds outside are too heavy, suffocating the sky and casting dark, unforgiving shadows on the ground below. The sea reflects them, throwing itself against the coastline like a dark, bottomless monster. 

** **

It’s a summer storm, humid and overwhelming, and Kageyama feels himself drown in it.

** **

He doesn’t speak again; not until Hinata has been dropped off into the worried arms of his own family, until he’s back along the seafront, moving from the car into his own hallway, until his mother reaches up to run a hand through his salt-brittle hair, as if trying to convince herself he’s all there. “You’re going to scare me to death one day.” 

** **

“I’m sorry.” The words come out broken, as if they got stuck in his throat halfway up- dizzy with disuse. 

** **

The rain outside only stops as he falls backwards into his bed, and sleeps to the memory of a rope catching around his wrist and _ pulling _. 

** **

-

** **

Morning comes with concerned texts from members of the sailing club, and a pain in Kagyama’s elbow that has him immediately seeking the pain medication the hospital had sent him off with. He responds to the texts- one handed- then sinks back into his bed and stares at the ceiling above. When he falls back asleep, it’s light and fitful, splintered by pain that just won’t go away, and the feeling of not knowing which way is up, tipping backwards and spilling over into the sea.

** **

If sailing is flying, then what he felt during the crash was _ falling, _feathers burned clean away by the sun that Hinata held in his own hands.

** **

When Kageyama wakes again, it’s midday and he can’t put off getting up much longer, the hunger that creeps up on him outweighing the desire to stay in bed and do nothing at all. He’s glad it’s his left arm that’s been put out of action, but eating is still hard, dropping his food like he’s a kid again who can’t reach his own mouth. He knows his frustration is palpable, that his mother can likely feel it washing off him in waves, but he doesn’t say a word. 

** **

Kageyama can see the ocean from his bedroom window. 

** **

Any semblance of the storm from the previous day is gone, tearing itself to shreds and leaving in its place a flat expanse of water that glitters like a mirror under the sunlight. Clouds trawl across the sky, indicating a steady breeze, and Kageyama halts as he feels himself planning how he would use the direction, how he would trim his sail, how he would wrap the weather around his little finger and use it to guide him and his boat swift into the horizon. It’s perfect weather for sailing, and here he is, feet planted firmly on dry land.

** **

It’s not often that Kageyama cries- not when he was a kid and his boat capsized on him and broke his finger, not when he won his first gold medal in a national regatta, not when his pet goldfish died. But as he glances down at the useless weight of his arm, and at the ocean, out of reach in front of him, his vision grows watery and unsteady.

** **

He spends the rest of the day with his curtains closed.

** **

-

** **

After three days, the rope burn on Kageyama’s hands has started to fade to a dull ache, and he no longer wakes up in the middle of the night, grasping blindly in the dark for pain medication and a glass of water. He keeps the curtains closed, however, not quite ready to face the view of the ocean, in fear that the longing to be out on the water, flying with sails outstretched, will overcome him completely. 

** **

Instead he sits in the dark, watches movies and reads the books that have been gathering dust on his shelves for years. It would be easier, he thinks, if he had school to distract him, because then he could focus on his inability to get a good literature grade, or the fact that his maths teacher hates him- instead of on the way the sea tugs at his heart like it has him on a leash. But school is over for the summer, parting to make way for long, sunny days and trips down to the seafront, and Kageyama is left to deal with his thoughts alone.

** **

It’s like a kick in the teeth, because Kageyama had longed for summer, gazing out of the classroom window and dreaming of days spent with salt-water clinging to his eyelashes and the clouds spiralling upwards overhead. But now all he wishes is for it to be over. 

** **

Because if summer ended, then he could move his arm again, sail again, feel free again.

** **

The air in his room is suffocating, still to the point that it’s almost hard to breath, but he denies any invitation to leave, settling for propping himself up in front of the fan, earphones in as he watches replays of past regattas- ones he won gold in, ones he lost, ones he didn’t even participate in at all. If he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend it’s the ocean breeze that weaves through his hair instead. 

** **

Kageyama grieves; for himself, for his boat, for the ocean that lies untouchable beyond the glass panes of his bedroom window. 

** **

If at any point he questions how Hinata is coping, he doesn’t dwell on it.

** **

-

** **

It’s 7am, and Hinata is at his front door.

** **

It’s the earliest Kageyama has been awake in days, pulled out of sleep prematurely by his alarm; one set for sailing practice which he forgot to turn off. It’s as he’s sitting in the kitchen, messily trying to spread butter on a slice of toast with one hand, that the doorbell rings. He drops his knife on the kitchen floor, and curses incoherently under his breath as he fumbles with the door keys.

** **

Over the course of three days, the bruise below Hinata’s eye has bloomed into an impressive black eye, staining his face in a way that looks like he’s been punched. His stance is unstable, one knee in a brace to support his torn ligaments and a pair of crutches that are slightly too big for him propped up under his arms. He’s out of breath, as if he’d been running- or as close to running as he could get on only one leg- and he doesn’t say anything for a while, gasping air into his lungs.

** **

Kageyama contemplates shutting the door on him.

** **

“Ukai called,” Hinata finally catches his breath enough to speak, wobbling as he props himself into a slightly more upright position. “Wants us to attend practice like normal. To learn theory or whatever.” The expression on Hinata’s face is something close to betrayal, like a dog that someone had dangled a treat in front of; close but not quite enough. 

** **

If sitting in his room and watching the ocean through his window was like a punishment, then watching other people sail, Kageyama thinks, must be torture. 

** **

“I don’t-” Kageyama moves to shut the door, a sigh catching in his throat. Because really, as counterproductive as it is- all he wants to do is mourn for a little while longer. Hinata stops him, expression changing into a frown that exudes nothing but determination. There’s the same look in his eyes as when he stopped Kageyama outside of the changing rooms, brimming with fire.

** **

“I’ll race you there.” And Kageyama knows he has an unfair advantage, that there’s no way Hinata could win against him, with his bandaged up knee and his crutches, barely able to stand upright. But Hinata challenges him, defiant, and Kageyama is nothing if not competitive. His toast sits, abandoned on the kitchen table. 

** **

“One minute of handicap time.” If he can’t sail to the rules, then at least he can run to them. 

** **

“How do I know you’re gonna stick to it?” Hinata hops away from the door and out of the gateway, a determined grin on his face as he calls back over his shoulder.

** **

“I’m not the one who keeps breaking the rules in official races.” Kageyama feels alive, as if his heart has restarted and energy is coursing through his veins once more. The sea air hits his lungs, and Hinata laughs, before he’s hopping down the seafront road with a vengeance. Even on crutches, even with his leg torn up and his face bruised, he’s faster than Kageyama expects, and it only makes his hunger to win stronger.

** **

A minute is up, and he runs, slamming the front door behind him.

** **

Kageyama makes it to the clubhouse a whole eight minutes before Hinata does. He waits and he watches; and as Hinata struggles up the beach, out of breath and obviously in pain, he doesn’t find any semblance of joy in the victory. 

** **

-

** **

It’s just as frustrating as Kageyama expects, watching the other members of the sailing club getting ready- pulling on their water shoes and rigging up their boats. Sugawara spares him an apologetic look as he walks past, slapping sun-cream onto his arms as he goes. Beside him, Hinata sighs, loud and dramatic, and sinks ever lower into the fold-out chair he’s propped himself up on. He’s practically lying down across it now, injured leg sticking out like he wants someone to trip over him. 

** **

“I hope you’ve all checked the weather this morning,” Ukai is eating as he enters the clubhouse, finishing up what looks like the remains of his breakfast, and Kageyama finds his mind drifting back to the toast he left out on the table. His stomach growls as if in agreement. “Because I want to see you all practicing wind reading.”

** **

From where he’s pulling on his sailing gloves in the corner, Tsukishima grins. “Shame that the people who need that aren’t participating.” Kageyama shoots him a withering look, but remains silent, as Ukai goes on to discuss technique, sail-monitoring and using tells to determine the direction of the wind and the best possible route to sail. And Kageyama only half listens, because reading the wind is like second nature to him- a sixth sense honed over years and years of practice until it’s almost as if it whispers to him, _ this is where I am, and this is where you’ll go. _ It’s habitual, instinctive and it comes as naturally as breathing. 

** **

But sometimes, even breathing is difficult. 

** **

A rope caught around his wrist, the water above him and the sky below, falling as his feathers are burned clean by the sun 

** **

Then everyone is moving, hauling their boats down the beach towards the ocean, and Kageyama is left behind, stranded. Hinata sighs again, even louder, and Kageyama is _ certain _ it’s just for show. 

** **

“I have a task for you two,” There’s an odd look in the back of Ukai’s expression, and Kageyama suddenly feels very afraid. “The clubhouse is in a bit of a state, so while you’re here, it’d be great if you could put yourselves to use and tidy it, yeah?” Hinata drops one of his crutches on the floor, and Kageyama groans.

** **

Because there’s an undertone in Ukai’s voice, the ‘_ you’d better start getting along’ _unspoken but ever so present. 

** **

“Of course.” Kageyama says. ‘_ Not in a million years’ _he means.

** **

And then Ukai is gone, running down to the beach and leaving them surrounded by silence and piles of mess that Kageyama can’t bear the thought of touching. They sit a while longer, letting it soak, letting it sink in. Then Hinata shouts, knocking the second of his crutches to the floor.

** **

“Oh this is _ dumb!” _

** **

Kageyama finds himself inclined to agree.

** **

He’s always been fond of the clubhouse. It’s the place he learned to sail, the place that gave him all the techniques that lead to a number of gold medals displayed on his wall, the place he found his love of the water and the sky and the freedom that came with them. It’s the place where, after gruelling winter boating sessions, the sailing club would come to huddle around a portable heater with mugs of hot chocolate, where they’d sit after a successful regatta in the haze of victory, or after a bad one with pats on the back and subdued whispers of ‘_ you’ll do it next time’. _

** **

However, as much as it is the heart of the sailing club, keeping the blood rushing through their veins and their heads held high, the clubhouse is- for lack of a better word- an absolute mess. While meticulous care and maintenance is given to the sailing club boats, Kageyama doesn’t think he’s ever known a time that the clubhouse hasn’t been covered in piles of paperwork that should have been completed years ago, not a single corner that _ doesn’t _contain a misplaced buoyancy aid. 

** **

As he looks around, he’s faced with years upon years of mess, and he doesn’t have a single clue about where to start. His gaze falls on a mug on the counter of the small kitchenette in the corner, one that has been there a while; given by the full-blown civilisation of mould that has populated its insides, and Kageyama grimaces. 

** **

Over in the corner, Hinata has switched chairs, and is tackling tangled pile of ropes, likely making the knots worse by the way he picks at them, tongue sticking out in concentration. He doesn’t notice Kageyama watching him, all of his effort put into even a menial task like detangling sail ropes. Kageyama notices the redness to his palms from where he’s been gripping his crutches, but he doesn’t feel guilty- the crash wasn’t entirely his fault, after all.

** **

He tells himself this again as he picks up an oar left by the kayaking club and drops it heavily into its container. 

** **

They tidy in silence, punctuated only by the sound of Kageyama dropping oars on the ground as he tries to carry too many at once, and the crowing of a gull that perches on the clubhouse roof. Outside the window, Kageyama can see the rest of the sailing club out on the waves, jumping from breeze to breeze as they weave around the buoys Ukai set up for them. He sighs, then drops the oar he’s carrying onto his foot.

** **

In his corner of the clubhouse, Hinata has finished with the ropes and moved onto a stack of paperwork with stained, damp edges, filing them into a box he’s recovered from one of the shelves. And it feels like a challenge- because _ everything _ with Hinata is a competition- so Kageyama speeds up, trying to carry as many of the oars as he can with only one hand (and really, why does the kayaking club need so _ many _). Hinata blinks in his direction, and starts filing papers at a faster pace. 

** **

And Kageyama doesn’t know why he had expected anything different. Because despite the accident, despite the crash and the subsequent punishment, nothing has changed between them. Hinata is still childish, and Kageyama still hates nothing more than childishness. They aren’t speaking, but they’re still at each other’s throats, and no intervention- from fate, from Ukai, or otherwise- could fix that. 

** **

Out on the waves, the sailing club has moved onto partner races, boats lining up two-by-two and running short courses out into the bay and back. It feels like something is tugging at Kageyama’s heart, pulling him towards the water like a lifeline, and the air around his head feels heavy, semi-liquid and tough to breathe. He wants to be with them, wants it so bad that it hurts, and he suddenly wishes that he hadn’t left the house at all. 

** **

One of the oars he’s carrying slips from his hand and clatters, heavy, into his injured elbow.

** **

It hurts enough for Kageyama to bite out a curse, dropping everything he’s holding in favour of clutching at his elbow. He staggers, gasping in a heavy breath as if it will somehow dampen the pain. It fades gradually into a dull ache, and when he opens his eyes, Hinata is staring at him with something close to shock expressed upon his face. His hands are still clutching the last of the papers, but they’ve been surprised into stillness, all of his focus directed onto Kageyama. It’s only when Hinata blinks that Kageyama realises he’s now staring too. Tearing his eyes away, he busies himself with picking up the things he dropped, hoping more than anything that he’s imagining the way Hinata’s gaze still burns into his back like the sun on a cloudless day. 

** **

Because nothing has changed between them- they get competitive, and then they get hurt. Just as it has always been. 

** **

“I’m sorry,” Hinata’s voice is small and unsure as he speaks, and _ oh, _ Kageyama thinks, _ maybe something has changed. _“I’m sorry for provoking you, and then for overtaking you and dragging you out here even though you didn’t want to come.”

** **

It’s awkward, hesitant and objectively one of the worst apologies Kageyama has ever received- but it’s sincere, because Hinata always puts one hundred and ten percent effort into everything he does, as sure as the sun and the sky above their heads. 

** **

“I’m-” The words stick in Kageyama’s throat, because he’s not used to this sort of openness, not with Hinata. “I’m sorry too. For, you know. Crashing into you.” And maybe, just maybe, he means it. 

** **

And then there’s silence again- Kageyama deposits the last of the oars into their respective locations, and Hinata finishes filing his paperwork with a flourish. But it’s less charged now, tension bleeding out of the air and becoming replaced by something else, something Kageyama isn’t quite sure he can put a name to.

** **

It’s broken when the sailing club crash back into the clubhouse, smelling of seawater and caught in a fit of laughter about how _ someone _ended up upside down after crashing into a buoy- and it only increases the pull of the sea on Kageyama’s heart tenfold.

** **

-

** **

It occurs to Kageyama that being stuck on land might be interfering with his rational thought processes as he finds himself following the seafront road along to Hinata’s house at half past six in the morning. He’s running entirely on memory, following the route his mother had driven through the rain on the way back from the hospital- in the hopes that he’ll remember which of the many similar-looking buildings it is that Hinata lives in. He’d laid awake the previous night, staring up at the ceiling as he thought of Hinata, traipsing his way from his house to the sailing club on his crutches, expression pulled into a pained frown. 

** **

_ It’s not out of guilt, _he tells himself. He knows he’s lying. 

** **

Finding Hinata’s house is no easy task- one which requires a lot of backtracking and a lot of retracing his steps, lost in a maze of suburb-esque houses which all look the same. He recognises it eventually, only by the sight of Hinata’s bike propped up in the driveway. Picking up the bike, he wheels it down the path, steels his nerves, and knocks on the door.

** **

“Who are _ you _?” When the door opens, it’s not Hinata, but a small girl with flaming orange hair bunched up into twin scrunchies on top of her head, who fixes Kageyama with a glare that could shake anyone’s nerves. Kageyama balks, and steps away from the doorway, almost tripping over the bike beside him. 

** **

“I, uh-” He struggles to locate the right words, caught off guard, before Hinata is hopping down the hallway with a vengeance and bundling the girl into a side-room as she squeaks in complaint. 

** **

“Kageyama?” Once the door is slammed behind him, Hinata glances at Kageyama, then down at the bike in his hand. “If you’re stealing my bike then you’re not doing a very good job.”

** **

Kageyama startles for the second time in the space of less than a minute. “No, I’m-” He coughs. “I just thought that since you can’t walk all that well I’d, you know. Ride us both to practice.” It sounds even more ridiculous when he says it out loud, Kageyama thinks, and Hinata seems to agree, glancing down at the sling holding Kageyama’s arm and mentally tagging onto the fact that they only have three functioning legs and three functioning arms between them. 

** **

But then something passes across his face, an expression that Kageyama doesn’t think he’s seen Hinata wear before, and he smiles. “Let me grab my stuff.”

** **

He leaves Kageyama on the doorstep, alone with his bike and the sudden realisation that he hasn’t cycled in years weighing heavy upon his shoulders. 

** **

It’s a disaster to say the least. 

** **

They barely make it to the end of the driveway before the bike wobbles and the handlebars swerve dangerously in the wrong direction. With one arm wrapped up in a sling, Kageyama finds he can’t do anything to right it, and the bike careers off the pavement and into the road, almost veering directly into a parked car on the other side. They only stop because Hinata topples off the back, overbalancing the bike so Kageyama also finds himself flying, landing in an undignified heap on the side of the road. He shudders at the thought of landing on his arm. 

** **

“Have you never ridden a bike before or something?” Hinata sits up, indignant as he hops to his feet and tries to haul the bike back upright. _ Of course I have, _ Kageyama thinks, dusting himself off. _ About five years ago. _

** **

It’s not that Kageyama doesn’t know how to cycle- it’s the sort of skill you never unlearn after all, wired into his subconscious memory just like adjusting the position of the sail on his boat. It’s just that Kageyama doesn’t know how to cycle one-handed, with Hinata clinging onto him, his breath falling on the back of his neck and his hands burning into his sides. They make it to the end of the street this time, then out onto the seafront road, and it crosses Kageyama’s mind that _ maybe _he’s got the hang of it, then the wheel hits an uneven paving stone, and the bike tips, depositing Kageyama and Hinata into a bush by the side of the pavement. 

** **

The look Hinata gives him is one of scepticism, eyebrows raised and the beginnings of a mocking grin forming upon his face. Kageyama doesn’t know if it’s possible to frown any harder, but he tries anyway.

** **

They arrive late, Kageyama wheeling Hinata’s bike beside him after they gave up following three more crashes. Kageyama can already feel bruises forming on his knees from where they had hit the pavement time and time again. Ukai raises an eyebrow as he sees them entering the clubhouse together, but doesn’t say a word, heading out into the boatyard to answer Asahi’s question about rigging up his boat instead. 

** **

The sailing club heads out onto the water once more, and Kageyama and Hinata are left with only the mess of the clubhouse to keep them company. Finding another stack of papers to sort through, Hinata positions himself on a chair by the bin, alternating between throwing out and filing away the water-stained documents and letters. Kageyama sets himself the task of clearing away the miscellaneous items that litter the clubhouse floor- stray buoyancy aids, piles of rope and spare shoes all kicked into the corners. He throws them into their respective storage areas, grimacing as his back starts to hurt from stooping over so much. There are very few clouds outside and the sun streams in through the windows and the doorway, and the air in the clubhouse quickly becomes humid and uncomfortable in the summer heat. Kageyama shucks off his jacket, the sleeve getting caught on his injured arm, and he can feel Hinata watching him, most likely trying to stop himself from laughing. 

** **

Neither of them speak- because despite their apologies from the previous day, despite the disastrous ride to the clubhouse, they’re not exactly on speaking terms, and the silence weighs heavy in the summer air. As he finishes clearing the floor and reaches into the storage cupboard for a broom to sweep the sand and cobwebs away, Kageyama finds himself missing their arguments, when silence would be a novelty because Hinata would not stop talking, and Kageyama could not stop retaliating. If before, things were explosive, sparks kicking between them like lit magnesium, now they’re dulled down and subdued, like a day out on the water with no breeze to carry them forward. 

** **

Kageyama used to wish Hinata would be quiet, just for once. He didn’t mean like this.

** **

From over in the corner, Hinata finishes filing away the papers again, and picks up the box to slot it back into place on the shelving unit. He barely makes it two steps, hobbling without his crutches, before the box slips between his fingers and drops out of his hands. It’s almost like it plays out in slow motion, as the edge of the container clatters against Hinata’s injured knee before hitting the floor and spilling papers in every direction. Only seconds after the box hits the ground, Hinata goes down with it, crumpling like a leaf as he grabs onto his knee and inhales sharply through his teeth. The noise it makes is so filled with pain it’s practically overflowing. And if Kageyama was a different person, he would have ran to his side, checked if he was okay, maybe wrapped an arm around his shoulder in some sort of comfort. Instead, he stays rooted to the spot, broom held in one hand as he watches Hinata curl in on himself in pain- because no amount of imagining will turn him into a different person.

** **

Hinata bites back tears, and Kageyama watches.

** **

But as much as Kageyama can’t stand Hinata- as much as he’d be glad to hop on a boat and sail off into the sunset, never to see him again- just watching doesn’t feel good enough. Hinata picks himself up off the floor and shuffles backwards into his chair, and his knuckles are white as he grips the edge of the table, staring down at the floor as if afraid it’ll shift from below his feet if he lets it out of his sight. 

** **

The rope around his wrist, the sky below and sea above. Kageyama knows that feeling all too well.

** **

So he does what he does best, and he talks about sailing. 

** **

“When did you first get in a boat?” Kageyama steps over the papers on the floor to sit down opposite Hinata, trying to force some semblance of nonchalance into his voice. He doesn’t think it works.

** **

There’s a pause before Hinata responds, looking up sharply as if he’s only just realised someone is talking to him. “You asking me?”

** **

“What do you think, idiot.” Kageyama bites back, and Hinata frowns.

** **

“I was just surprised you were being nice, that’s all.” At least he doesn’t look like he’s about to cry anymore, Kageyama thinks.

** **

“So are you gonna tell me?” And really, Kageyama is indifferent about whether Hinata tells him or not- knowing when Hinata first learned to sail isn’t going to help him win, isn’t going to get him back on the water faster. It also isn’t going to help with the papers that litter the floor, or the mug on the countertop that is still growing mould. But Hinata’s face lights up, even just a little, at the thought of talking about sailing, and Kageyama can’t find it in himself to wish he hadn’t asked.

** **

“Well, yeah! I was nine, maybe eight. I got booked in for a session at the sailing club back where I used to live- it was pretty run down and the boats were rubbish, but I’d begged my parents to let me just do even an hour of sailing.” He looks nostalgic as he speaks, and Kageyama is surprised, because he hadn’t expected Hinata to have been sailing for quite that long. “I was awful at it at first, I kept leaning too far off the side and falling in the water, and I got all frustrated. But then this big gust of wind caught my sail, and I went _ woosh _across the water, and I swear I’d never been that excited in my life and-” His words are punctuated by excited hand gestures, and he only cuts himself off on account of having forgotten to breathe while he was talking.

** **

“And you were hooked.” Kageyama finishes the sentence for him, because he knows all too well- remembers as clear as day the moment the wind first caught his sails and he felt himself _ fly. _

** **

Hinata nods, vigorous. “My parents said they never should have let me even look at a boat- that they’d created a monster, because suddenly I was skipping after-school maths lessons to go down to the sailing club every day, and I kept making the carpets damp,” He laughs at his own joke, injured knee forgotten. “What about you?” 

** **

And Kageyama had hoped the conversation wouldn’t get this far, that the rest of the club would haul their boats back in and interrupt, that _ something _ would get in the way. He sighs. “I was seven- I used to do nothing but watch videos of old regattas and check out the boats from my window, so as soon as I was old enough to join classes at the sailing club here, I wouldn’t stop asking until I was allowed to go. I’d read and watched so much stuff that I picked it up pretty fast, and I broke away from the group I was with. As soon as I was further out into the bay, the wind picked up and suddenly I was soaring,” The gulls cartwheeling above his head, the spray from the sea against the back of his neck, rudder pulled towards his chest as he wheeled across the water like a skipping stone. Then his voice falls quiet, because this, _ this _is the embarrassing part. “Then the boom hit me in the face and knocked out two of my teeth.”

** **

There’s the silence again, filling the clubhouse, before Hinata bursts into laughter, as if he’d never heard something so amusing, and Kageyama glowers at the floor. “Sorry, sorry! That’s just-” He cuts himself off to laugh again, reaching up to wipe tears from his eyes. 

** **

“It’s an easy mistake to make,” Kageyama responds, defensive. “I was bleeding all over the place and demanding that they let me back in the boat _ right now _ because I was so excited it didn’t even hurt.” 

** **

“Oh, I wish I’d been there to see that.” Hinata is grinning still, and any number of weeks ago, Kageyama knows he would have taken it as an insult, would have immediately gone on the defensive, throwing back anger in tenfold. But now, he just stands up and rolls his eyes.

** **

“Like you’ve never been hit by the boom before. Help me pick up these papers.” 

** **

They’re still talking quietly when the sailing club comes back in from the water, hauling their boats into the yard and scrubbing at their hair with towels to get the moisture out of it. The first to re-enter the clubhouse, Sugawara shoots a knowing look in their direction, eyebrows raised in something like amusement.

** **

“Well that’s an unusual sight.” He teases, and Kageyama sends a withering glare in his direction, the paper he’s holding crumpling under his fingers. Unaffected, Sugawara shrugs and tosses his buoyancy aid onto the floor, right where Kageyama had just finished cleaning. 

** **

The bike is still propped up against the side of the clubhouse when they leave, and, glancing from the crutches in Hinata’s hands to the brace on his knee, Kageyama sighs and picks it up, wheeling it down the road while calling for Hinata to hurry up. It’s early afternoon, on the back-end of the lunchtime rush, so the shops along the seafront are bustling with activity, food stalls still putting out the last of their produce and people sitting on benches and along the docks, dangling feet into water that’s not too cold and not too warm- refreshing. The sun overhead is bright to the point that it’s almost overwhelming, and Kageyama wishes he had put on sunscreen before leaving the clubhouse. 

** **

“I love the summer,” Hinata speaks as they walk, turning his head to glance out across the sea that rolls in light waves beside them. “Everything is always so busy and bright.” He’s smiling, content, as he hops down the road, keeping up with Kageyama’s slow walking pace. And he’s right, the sky above them is a vivid blue, reflected like a looking-glass by the sea, there’s a bunting strung in light pastels between the lampposts and the flowers that line the roads are in full bloom, a scattering of pinks, reds and yellows against a backdrop of deep green. Kageyama hums in agreement.

** **

“It’d be nicer if I could see it from out there, though.” He nods at the water, blue and inviting, just waiting to carry him away. 

** **

“True,” Hinata nudges him, and the place where his elbow contacts Kageyama’s arm feels like it’s burning. “But this isn’t too bad either.” There’s an undertone to his voice, so subtle that it has Kageyama wondering if he’s imagining it or not. _ You’re not too bad. _

** **

Kageyama doesn’t speak for the rest of the way to Hinata’s house- he’s thinking too hard to come up with anything coherent enough for a conversation. As he props the bike up against the wall in Hinata’s driveway and leaves with a noncommittal_ ‘see you tomorrow’, _he sighs. 

** **

Because for all his childishness, for all the ways he drives Kageyama up the damn wall, Hinata really isn’t too bad after all.

** **

-

** **

They walk back from the clubhouse together the day after, and the day after that too. Out of convenience, Kageyama tells himself, as he rolls his eyes at another of Hinata’s jokes and speeds up his walking pace just to hear him shout.

** **

And in some ways, things haven’t changed- they still argue, still turn everything into a competition without a second thought, still push, shove and challenge just as they always have done. But in other ways, in the brief knock of Hinata’s elbow against his as they walk, in the stories they tell about times they fell off their boats and ended up soaked through, in the way Hinata throws his head back and laughs when Kageyama almost trips over his own feet, things are so so different- and Kageyama finds he doesn’t really mind at all.

** **

-

** **

“We should get ice cream.” Hinata phrases it as a statement, not a question, as they walk back from the clubhouse together for the sixth day in a row. The intonation to his voice makes it clear that Kageyama is going to be the one paying. He sighs, just enough to voice his distaste, but pulls out his wallet regardless- ice cream doesn’t sound like such a bad idea after all. The temperature has only grown warmer as July drags onward, the sky cloudless and the air heavy. The sea falls still, feeble waves lapping at the boats in the docks with little wind to drive them, and the bunting between the lampposts doesn’t flutter the way it did in the breeze of the previous days. All around them, people are sitting outside with handheld fans and glasses of ice water, trying to stave off some of the heat. 

** **

Ice cream really does seem like a good plan. 

** **

The ice cream shop Hinata leads them to is just off the seafront, tucked away down a side street, hidden just enough that it’s not too busy. It’s small but welcoming, a fan on the front desk keeps the air cool and a small radio propped in the corner quietly plays upbeat music in the background. The girl sitting behind the counter, her head leaned as close to the fan as possible, startles when Hinata walks in.

** **

“Yachi! It’s so hot out there- I think I’m gonna die.” Hinata drapes himself against the countertop and sighs as the cool temperature of the glass seeps into his skin. The girl, Yachi, opens her mouth as if to respond, but it cuts off into a squeak as she glances up towards Kageyama standing in the doorway. 

** **

“He only looks scary, he’s actually pretty dumb.” Hinata interjects from his position on the countertop, waving a hand in Kageyama’s general direction. 

** **

_ Scary? _ Kageyama hesitates in the doorway. He’s been called a lot of things before- intense, focused, dedicated- but not _ scary _. Not for a long time. Only then does it register that Hinata also called him dumb, and he responds by hitting him hard in the back. The disgruntled squeak it forces out of him is worth the way his palm stings afterward. 

** **

“Two small vanilla cones, please,” Kageyama orders, ignoring the indignant shouts from Hinata when he doesn’t let him choose his own flavour. “I’m paying so I get to choose.” Yachi makes up their ice cream quickly and accepts the money, still moving as if she’s wary of Kageyama. She tries not to touch his hand as she hands over his cone, unlike the friendly way she moves around Hinata. They step back into the dry summer air and Kageyama finds himself wishing they had remained in the ice cream shop, where it was easier to breathe and his lungs didn’t feel like they were filling with dust. 

** **

“I don’t think anyone will be sailing if it’s like this tomorrow.” Hinata remarks as they walk down to the seafront and sit themselves on the wall facing the water, feet dangling under the fence as gulls land by them in the hopes that one of them will drop something they can eat. 

** **

“Even today it was a struggle.” Nodding in agreement, Kageyama thinks back to earlier, the club traipsing back earlier than usual on account of their boats barely moving, the wind having dropped only a few hours into the session. _ Now you know, _ he’d thought, as complaints of the water being snatched from under them rang out through the clubhouse. _ Now you know how it feels. _His arm feels heavy in its sling as he eats his ice cream, as if the dryness is irritating the damaged areas further. 

** **

Beside him, Hinata’s ice cream is melting all over his hand, his head craned at an odd angle as he tries to catch pieces of it before they fall off. “This is the part of summer that I _ don’t _like.” He resumes his efforts, and Kageyama isn’t entirely sure if he’s referring to sailing or his steadily disintegrating ice cream. 

** **

“Does everything you do have to be so messy?” And Kageyama feels a spark of irritation, because sometimes talking to Hinata is like talking to a little kid, one that can’t focus on one topic for longer than a minute, one that goes too fast on his crutches and crashes into him, one that can’t even eat an ice cream properly. _ Childish. _

** **

He knows he’s said the wrong thing, because Hinata isn’t smiling any more. “You’re doing that thing again,” When he speaks, his voice is quiet, almost weary sounding, like it was something he had expected, was waiting for. “That thing where you look at me like I’m some dumb kid that got in your way.” 

** **

Kageyama pauses, narrows his eyes. “What are you even talking about?”

** **

And that’s all it takes to ignite that familiar intensity in Hinata’s eyes, as he grips the railing white-knuckled and whirls to face Kageyama. “You’re even doing it now! I-” He studies Kageyama’s face closely, like he’s reading every piece of him, bit by bit. “You know I thought that once I won, you’d finally start taking me seriously- but you never really saw me as a rival, did you? Just some kid with bad technique who just kept winning out of pure luck.” 

** **

“I-” Kageyama finds, all of a sudden, that he doesn’t know what to think. Because there’s a piece in the back of his mind that tells him, has told him for the longest time, that what Hinata is saying is right. _ Childish, _ the rest of his mind supplies. “Your technique _ is _ bad though.” And it’s the truth, Kageyama knows it, knows that Hinata doesn’t follow the rules, doesn’t sail like he should do. The air feels heavier, putting on pressure. 

** **

If Hinata had been angry before, now he looks furious. Kageyama leans back, as if he’ll get burned if he sits too close. “Do you think that about everyone who has a different technique to you?” Hinata stands up, and the way he wobbles on one leg as he reaches for his crutches does little to diffuse the anger that rolls off him in waves. “Do you look down on Sugawara because he sets his sails differently to you? Does Tanaka have bad technique because he doesn’t read the wind in the same way you do? Does Nishinoya not sail properly because he plans his routes in a different way?” Kageyama doesn’t respond, because he doesn’t know how. “Or is it just me?” Hinata turns and leaves, walking away on his own for the first time in five days. Kageyama stares at the sea below him, and doesn’t move.

** **

His ice cream slips from his hand, and the gulls scramble to claim it. 

** **

-

** **

_ “He’s like some sort of genius,” _ Kageyama feels like he’s ten years old again, picking up his first gold medal of the May series junior regatta. _ “It’s scary.” _

** **

_ “He sails like he thinks he’s the king of the waves.” _Kageyama feels like he’s eleven years old again, after winning five consecutive races, one after the other. He’d liked the nickname, enough to ask his mother to ink it into the side of his boat, carrying it with him like a crown. He didn’t realise, not until years later, that it was not something he was supposed to carry proudly. 

** **

_ “Did you see the new kid? He’s faster than anyone I’ve ever seen,” _ Kageyama feels like he’s twelve years old again, as Hinata soars past in a blur of orange and white, snatching first place from under him. He hadn’t lost a race in years, not till then- and the feeling that bubbled up inside of him, anger, jealousy, _ something _ else, got forced down before he could even dwell on it. _ “I think the sailing club might have a new star.” _

** **

_ “You never really saw me as a rival, did you?” _Kageyama is seventeen years old, and he realises that maybe, Hinata is right. 

** **

He doesn’t sleep well that night, and he blames his thoughts just as much as the dry summer air that suffocates him when he tries to breathe.

** **

-

** **

His elbow is aching again when he wakes up to the sound of the gulls outside, agitated by a night of tossing and turning, so he downs his last painkiller tablet and lies in his bed, staring up towards the ceiling. It’s even warmer than the day before, the sun already beating down through his curtains even in the early hours of the morning, and he kicks off his sheets in favour of lying out in the open. The painkiller takes action slowly, its effects working their way into the damaged ligaments in his elbow and letting him relax slightly. 

** **

With the pain gone, Kageyama is left alone to his thoughts, ones which hadn’t really ceased since the night before. 

** **

First, he thinks about the sea- he always does, for the water and waves always come first to him, natural as breathing. He thinks about sailing, how he’ll catch himself subconsciously moving his hand like he’s adjusting a sail as he sits and watches TV, how he’ll check the weather app by habit every morning, how he finds himself reading the wind even as he’s walking to the shops and back. He thinks about how slow everything is on land, how everything seems to move sluggishly, nothing like the adrenaline rush of cutting through the water with sea-soaked hair and his heart fired up. He thinks about how his hands itch to be sore and rope-burned, calloused around the tiller as he steers into the wind and flies. He thinks about the taste of salt, the time he sailed by a pod of dolphins taking shelter in the bay, the time he caught the wind badly and was flung from his boat, only to find that the sunset looked beautiful when he watched it floating on his back in the water. 

** **

Then he thinks about the past, about the regattas he won, the regattas he lost, about the medals and trophies that hang in the living room cabinet on proud display. He thinks about his first under 12s regatta, where he won gold in every race he took part in, but nobody came to congratulate him, nobody praised him on how hard he worked. _ He’s the genius type, a prodigy. _ He’d heard the conversations by the docks and around corners, hushed like they weren’t supposed to reach his ears. _ It’s scary, isn’t it? _

** **

Then finally, he thinks about Hinata. Hinata and his bright smile and intense eyes, faster than anything on the water yet trailing behind him on land, struggling to keep up on his crutches. Hinata who challenged him to a race he knew he wouldn’t win, who let him wobble all the way to the clubhouse on a bike he didn’t know how to ride, who calls him dumb, hits him with his crutches, _ bit _ him on one occasion, but who laughs at all his badly executed jokes, who knows about the sea and the sky and the sunset and the joy of sailing wind-flung into the unknown. Hinata who, as of the previous afternoon, hates his guts. And rightfully so, Kageyama finds himself realising, because Hinata’s technique might be messy, but there’s a process behind it, just as there’s a process to the way Kageyama meticulously manages his sails, to the way Nishinoya’s routes seem convoluted and ridiculous but he still makes it to the finish on time, the way Sugawara uses tells and hand signals to navigate. The king of the waves, they called Kageyama, not because he sailed well, but because he sailed like _ he _ made the rules. 

** **

_ I thought you’d finally start taking me seriously. _All the races he looks back on, all the practice routes and regattas, there wasn’t a single one where he saw Hinata as an opponent, an equal. Not until a storm brewed in the sky and Hinata cornered him outside the changing rooms with fire in his eyes, until Kageyama was cutting through the water towards him and crashing, falling. 

** **

And Kageyama realises that, if they had been equal from the start, then his arm might still be in one piece. 

** **

He thinks about Hinata, who flies instead of sails, who makes his haphazard technique work, who makes childish jokes and turns everything into a competition, who makes fires out of his hunger to win- who Kageyama wants to be equal with. 

** **

He flings his good arm over his eyes and tries to block out the morning sunlight so he can fall back asleep.

** **

-

** **

The route to Hinata’s house feels almost like second nature by this point, and Kageyama navigates the seafront road and the suburbs that branch off it with relative ease. However the way his heart feels like it’s nestled in his throat, palms sweating more from nervousness than the warmth of the sun, makes the journey anything but easy. Because admitting he’s wrong is not something Kageyama does often, and composing a long, thought-out apology is something he does even less, and the feeling of being far, far out of his depth weighs heavily upon his shoulders.

In the short week he’s been walking Hinata to and from the clubhouse, the seafront road has become littered with memories Kageyama didn’t realise he had been storing until now- the bush they fell into while trying to cycle, the patch of sand that Hinata slipped on and smacked Kageyama in the knee with his crutches, the lamppost that a seagull swept down from and stole Kageyama’s cereal bar clean out of his hand.

And then he’s reaching Hinata’s driveway, his bike parked up against the wall and pots of wilted garden flowers in desperate need of water lined up against the wall. He knocks, and holds his breath until he hears the sound of crutches thudding down the hallway on the other side of the door.

It’s past lunchtime but Hinata is still in his pyjamas when he answers the door, a surprised look passing across his face as he sees Kageyama standing in the doorway, one hand shoved into his pocket and the other hanging from its sling. All of Kageyama’s well-planned words chose the opportune moment to fly clean out of his brain, disappearing somewhere up in the cloudless sky. 

He stares wordlessly at Hinata, and Hinata stares wordlessly back.

“Sailing club isn’t on today.” There’s a waver to Hinata’s voice as he steps back and moves to close the door in Kageyama’s face. Lunging forward, Kageyama sticks his foot out and blocks the door from closing, barely even stopping to consider his actions. He thinks he threw all caution to the wind the moment he set foot outside his own house. 

“I know that,” He hesitates again- _ you’re making a mess of this. _So he holds his breath, closes his eyes and counts to five, as Hinata eases the door open again. “I came to, you know. To say sorry. About yesterday,” His voice comes out strained. “And about every other time, I guess.”

“What about yesterday?” Hinata prompts, and Kageyama realises with a jolt that it almost looks like he’s _ enjoying _this.

“For not taking you seriously, I-” Kageyama counts to five again, because being open is not something he’s good at, not in front of Hinata and not in front of anyone else. He feels like there’s a pressure on his chest in the way Hinata watches him and waits with an unreadable expression. “I want to race as equals. And stuff.” The silence roars in his ears like a heavy wave has crashed over his head, sending him spinning.

“That was the worst apology I’ve ever heard in my life.” And then Hinata is laughing, a genuine laugh that’s bright and warm and holds none of the hostility of the previous day, like it’s all flowed out of his voice and into the ground below. Maybe that’s why the flowers are wilting, Kageyama thinks. Then he frowns, because he’d _ tried _, thought about his words all morning while eating his breakfast, watching the news on TV, eating lunch. 

But Hinata is laughing instead of angry, so maybe, _ maybe _ it was worth it.

“If you’re going to be like that then I’ll take it back.” Kageyama retorts.

“No take-backs!” There’s a singsong tone to Hinata’s voice as he unhooks his arm from one of his crutches and claps Kageyama on the shoulder. The place where he touches burns long after he’s moved his hand away. “You don’t apologise a whole lot, do you?”

“Are you gonna accept my apology or are you just going to make fun of me?” Kageyama’s voice is raised, but there’s no bite to it, none of the anger that would have once lingered behind his words.

“I accept your apology,” Hinata nods sincerely. “It sucked, but I could tell you meant it.”

And that, Kageyama is fine with.

“You’ve gotta buy me lunch tomorrow to make up for it though,” Hinata ducks back inside the house, grinning ear to ear as he closes the door. “Meet me at one by the docks.”

It’s to Kageyama’s surprise, as he walks home and the sun starts to sink lower in the sky, that he finds he’s looking forward to it.

-

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d finally found someone who can keep up with you.” His mother sounds amused as she calls up the stairs after him. Kageyama pretends he doesn’t hear a word.

-

Sailing club is off again the following day, on account of windless skies and hot summer air, the dryness replaced with a heavy humidity that forewarns a coming storm. Still, Kageyama is up by seven, unable to sleep any longer as he throws himself out of bed. There’s dark, heavy clouds gathering on the horizon by twelve, and Kageyama packs an umbrella into his bag as he prepares to walk down to the docks to meet with Hinata. The walk along the seafront road feels longer than usual- he blames it on the humidity that weighs on his shoulders and sticks in his throat- and the bunting hangs motionless from the lampposts, sad strings of pastels that no longer look bright.

Hinata is already there, leaning up against the railing of the stairs that lead down to the docks with a tiny battery-powered fan in one hand, held so close to his face that Kageyama thinks if he watches long enough he’ll see him get his nose caught in it. When Hinata spots him, he holds up the fan with a look of disdain.

“This thing is useless,” He pockets it, then retrieves his crutches from where they’re resting up against the railing. “There’s a sushi place along the road that has crazy-strong air conditioning, we should go there.”

Kageyama feels glad as they walk to the sushi restaurant, because things aren’t different- it’s like they never argued, like Kageyama never had to haul himself over to Hinata’s house with pathetic apologies and sweaty palms. But there’s also something different, a tension in his own shoulders that he didn’t realise was there until it was gone, a lighter note to Hinata’s voice, like he’s no longer holding himself back from something. They brush elbows as they walk, and while the casual touches still burn, they no longer feel out of place. _ Comfortable, _ Kageyama finds the word as they settle down into a booth at the back of the sushi restaurant, as close to the air conditioning unit as they can find, and Hinata’s foot finds his under the table, _ this is comfortable. _

“I’m a genius,” Hinata proclaims, as he drapes himself into a spot that’s directly across from the AC unit and gets a faceful of cold air. “This is the best idea anyone has ever had.”

“Sorry, but that award already goes to whoever it was who came up with waterproof shoes.” Kageyama responds, but moves into the line of the AC unit regardless.

Hinata snorts, then reaches up to squash his hair down, face twisting into a grumpy expression. “Hi, I’m Kageyama Tobio and if I don’t talk about sailing every five seconds I’ll actually _ die.” _He rattles off a poor parody of Kageyama’s voice, and Kageyama glares.

Stupidity must be contagious, he tells himself, as he messes up his own hair. “Hi, I’m Hinata Shouyou and I’m bitter about the fact that I can’t reach the top shelf.”

Hinata is silent, and Kageyama wonders for a brief moment if he’s stepped over a line somewhere, preparing to pedal backwards, to smooth out his hair and apologise. But then Hinata is laughing, the sort of laugh where he throws his head back and wipes tears from his eyes; and if the sun was a sound, bright and warm and overwhelming, then this would be it. Kageyama feels his voice die in his throat, and suddenly finds it very difficult to move.

Hinata only stops laughing when someone comes to take their order, and Kageyama finally has room to breathe again.

They eat lunch, then Hinata demands ice cream once again, and Kageyama is still reeling, still trying to force that laugh and the way it had made his heart do cartwheels far, far back into his memories, completely out of reach. He doesn’t even think to say no. They go back to the same place as before, with its countertop fan and its background of pop music, and this time Hinata beats him to it, ordering bubblegum ice cream (plus sprinkles) before Kageyama can buy vanilla cones for the both of them again.

“No wonder you have so much energy all the time.” Kageyama remarks as they walk back to the docks and Hinata bites clean into his ice cream in a way that has him shouting about brainfreeze only seconds later. The heavy clouds encroach upon the shore as they eat, cutting off the sun as the storm rolls ever closer. It’s even more humid than before, as if the air has turned semi-liquid, and the two of them share Hinata’s hand-held fan and pretend that it’s doing something to help.

Above them on the seafront, shopkeepers move their produce back indoors, pulling tarpaulins over stalls, and pedestrians scurry to get back home before the storm breaks. Yet out on the docks, Kageyama and Hinata sit and anticipate it, feet dangling over the waves as they watch and wait. There’s a few boats out on the water, fishing boats with motors that drive forward wind or not, and Kageyama feels the hold of the sea upon his heart tighten like a fist. The sky grows darker and the storm clouds roll on.

“As soon as my leg is fine, I’m gonna race you, and I’m gonna win.” Hinata speaks first, his gaze refusing to budge from the water stretching out in front of him. And the words light a fire in Kageyama, one he hasn’t felt in a while, the spark of a challenge that beckons him to reach out and grasp it firmly in both hands. Because racing Hinata before had been frustrating, an annoying blip in a day of races that would normally have his heart soaring. But now, the thought of going against him head to head is nothing short of exhilarating. 

“You say that like you think I’m going to make it easy for you.” Kageyama grins, and Hinata turns to look at him, fire brimming in his eyes. There’s a clatter of thunder overhead, and the storm breaks right as their eyes meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all feedback is very much appreciated!  
twt: bee__calm  
tumblr: bee-calm


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 is here, as promised!  
just as a warning- during this part there's a scene that describes something similar to dissociation / a panic attack, and it's nothing major, but it starts at 'it gets to him' and ends at 'hinata sounds unusually serious' in case u wanna avoid it!  
also i made a playlist for this fic, if you want to listen, you can find it [here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/bunyoul/playlist/3u8daCt18laD7sMiu0wj2z?si=N-NjctQeTpupF8jg_inDqQ)

The storm lasts for two days, rain pouring down from the clouds as the humidity leaches steadily out of the air. The thunder that rolls through the sky is punctuated by flashes of lighting, and Kageyama tries to get photos of it on his phone out of boredom, trapped indoors by the rain. There’s talk of floods as the rain drums a tattoo against the roof, unrelenting, but then it’s over as suddenly as it started, petering out into a mild drizzle as the clouds open up and the sun yawns down. The plants in the garden are waterlogged and there’s a message in the sailing club group chat about a leak in the clubhouse roof, but it feels like summer again. 

** **

Sailing club resumes with the return of a steady wind from the north, and Hinata and Kageyama are back in the clubhouse, sweeping the floor, cleaning the windows and throwing away the out-of-date food in the cupboards. They draw lots on who has to deal with the mould-filled mug in the kitchenette (Hinata loses), and challenge each other to see who can make the best paper aeroplanes out of ancient membership forms.

** **

A week passes, and they fall into a routine- learn new techniques with the rest of the sailing club, tidy the clubhouse, threaten Tsukishima with a mop for leaving his water shoes on the floor, then walk home together in the early afternoon sunlight. Sometimes they get ice cream (Yachi no longer jumps when Kageyama walks in through the doorway), or other days they pick up lunch from the convenience store and eat by the docks, warding off seagulls and trying to spot boats out on the horizon. 

** **

They exchange numbers, and Kageyama finds that Hinata texts just as much as he talks, sending messages unprompted about the weather, the cat he saw by the seafront, the cool yacht he spotted from his window. Kageyama rarely responds, but it does little to deter him.

** **

His phone screen lights up as he’s carrying out his stretches, easing his arm into gentle movements and wincing at the ache that shoots from his fingertips to his shoulder.

** **

_ From: Idiot [16:25] _

_ Just ate THE best cream bun in the world???? _

_ We’ve gotta go here tomorrow im gonna die if i dont try it again _

** **

And if Kageyama looks at the message and smiles to himself, then nobody has to know.

** **

-

** **

The email informing Kageyama that his boat has been fixed and returned to the clubhouse comes while he’s eating dinner, prompting him to drop food on the table in his excitement. Both his and Hinata’s boats had been damaged in the crash- he hadn’t asked about the extent of the damage, hadn’t _ wanted _to know- and the last thing he knew of it was Ukai sending it off to get damaged parts fixed and replaced, so they would be ready to race once again. 

** **

Ukai had known without having to ask that using a different boat just wouldn’t feel the same. 

** **

Kageyama runs all the way to the clubhouse through the warm summer evening, stumbling over his own feet as he goes. One of his shoelaces is undone, but he doesn’t even think to stop and tie it. Because if he can’t sail, then getting to run through the comforting motions of his maintenance routine is the next best thing, hands skimming over the sails and the tiller beneath his fingertips. It’s not sailing, but for now, it would be good enough. 

** **

The spare key to the clubhouse is in the small, wall-mounted safe beside the doorway- Kageyama has typed in the code enough times for it to feel like second nature as he lets himself in and opens up the side-door to the boatyard. Leaving the key on the table, he heads outside. His boat sits in its usual spot, sail left rigged like Ukai was expecting him to come. And of course he would, because Kageyama is predictable and he knows it- mind set on sailing and sailing alone. The boat looks good as new, as if it had never been damaged at all, and if it wasn’t for the sling holding his arm in place, then Kageyama might have been able to convince himself the crash hadn’t happened at all. 

** **

“Anyone could just walk in if you leave the door open like that,” Kageyama is startled out of his thoughts by Hinata, standing in the clubhouse doorway with the spare key in his hand. “Your boat fixed too?” He hops into the boatyard on his crutches, up to where his own boat is rigged up and ready for him to look over too. Hinata’s boat is a different model to Kageyama’s- smaller and lighter and built for speed, but he can tell from the fond look in Hinata’s eyes as he glances over the sails and hull that he cares about it just as much as Kageyama cares about his own boat. 

** **

Because their boats are an extension of themselves, like an extra muscle that keeps their heart beating out on the water, something which they’d both be lost without. 

** **

“I should have known you’d be here.” There’s no bite in Kageyama’s words as he sets about running his hand along the sail, checking the edges for tears or imperfections. It’s familiar, and the heavy weight that’s been settled on Kageyama’s chest- since he woke up delirious with pain on the docks- lifts momentarily, lost to actions he’s carried out so often they’re as natural as breathing. It’s like he no longer has to think; like him and his boat are the only things left under the sunset-stained sky. 

** **

It’s not entirely familiar though- he’s only using one hand, and, from across the boatyard, he can feel Hinata staring at him. 

** **

There’s something about Hinata when he watches, like his eyes burn into the back of Kageyama’s neck, a constant presence that takes him apart piece by piece. Because everything about Hinata is like staring into the sun, and, in this case, the sun seems to stare back. 

** **

(At twelve years old, Kageyama had felt burning eyes upon him as he pulled his boat from the water, hair flat against his forehead from a wave that had broken against the side of the hull and showered him with spray, salt water glittering silver as he sailed into first place. It was just a practice race, but he regaled in the glory regardless. And then on the beach, struggling to push his boat back into its trolley, he felt footsteps and burning eyes come running in his direction. 

** **

“That was so cool!” The kid with orange hair as bright as flames stood beside him, all up in his personal space. Kageyama spotted the sailing club registration forms hanging out the pocket of his shorts. “The thing you did with the sail where you went _ whoosh! _ and then _ pschoom! _ was brilliant! I’d never have thought of doing something like that!” 

** **

Kageyama had stepped back, because he’d never been prone to headaches, but he wasn’t taking any chances now. The kid followed, stars in his eyes. 

** **

“Can you teach me it; when I join the sailing club?” He was in Kageyama’s personal space again, almost a whole head shorter as he jumped from foot to foot, excited. 

** **

“No,” Kageyama had picked up his boat and fixed the kid with the orange hair with a steady glare. “Don’t join the sailing club if you’re not going to take it seriously.” 

** **

Kageyama had left, and the smile had fallen off Hinata’s face.)

** **

“Hey, Kageyama?” Hinata leans against the edge of his boat, voice pulling Kageyama out of his well-rehearsed motions. “Can you teach me how you do your maintenance routine?”

** **

It’s almost like instinct to say no, to brush him off and turn his back, returning to winding up the mainsail ropes in a way that won’t let them tangle, but it dies in his throat before he can even say it. Because when Kageyama wins, he wants it to be out of his own willpower and skill, not out of Hinata’s ropes getting tangled half-way through a race, or out of an imperfection in his hull that throws him off course. Rivals operate on an equal playing field- if he’s learned anything, it’s that. 

** **

“Sure.” From the way Hinata’s eyes widen and his face splits into a bright smile, it’s clear he had been expecting any answer but that. 

** **

They work until the sun has set and the sky is star-scattered, steady hands and careful motions illuminated by the lamps that hang over the boatyard and the moon above them. A moth flutters around the lamps, jumping between them like it can’t quite decide which it likes best, and the air is filled with the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore as the tide comes in. Hinata helps Kageyama with the parts he needs two hands for, and Kageyama helps Hinata with the things he needs to stand on tip-toes to reach. Kageyama doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so quiet but so peaceful in the same instance. 

** **

It’s as he’s checking over the far side of the hull that Kageyama finds that the words inked into the side- _ King of the Waves _ \- are no longer there in their entirety. Whether they were scraped off in the crash or during the repair work; he can’t quite tell. He stares at them, until they blur together into something that no longer has meaning, and it’s quite possible that they haven’t _ really _ meant anything in a long time. It doesn’t take long for him to scrape the remains of the words off the side of his boat, smoothing them down until there’s nothing left to say they were ever there at all. 

** **

Then Hinata’s hands are on his shoulders, asking if they can stop by the convenience store on their way home, and the words become a distant memory in the back of his mind. 

** **

Because once upon a time, he may have been the king of the waves- but it’s been a long time since it’s been a crown he’s held alone. 

** **

-

** **

Hinata is getting faster on his crutches, Kageyama finds, as they race to the clubhouse. The heavy brace on his knee has been replaced with a smaller, less bulky one, and the bruises around his eye have completely faded. He’s still on two crutches, unable to fully walk on his leg yet, but now he can almost keep up with Kageyama when they’re walking- _ almost, _because he still lags a little way behind, especially on the uneven terrain close to the clubhouse, where he stumbles and Kageyama slows his running pace just a little.

** **

There’s buoys set up for a practice race in the bay when they arrive at the clubhouse, the sailing club meeting early to rig up their boats and head onto the water before the wind drops. There’s the hum of excitement in the air that always comes with races, whether they’re real or practice ones, and Kageyama lets himself get swept up in it despite the fact that he knows he can’t take part. 

** **

Instead of resigning themselves to finishing up the last of the cleaning, Kageyama and Hinata head down to the beach to watch the race, settling on the docks and eyeing the boats grouped up along the starting line. The claxon goes off in the distance, and Kageyama feels Hinata jump beside him, as if he’s ready to turn his boat into the wind and go, spurred on by the sound. Kageyama would be lying if he said his own muscles didn’t tense up, hand twitching like it would if he were setting his sails. 

** **

It’s a new course, one Kageyama doesn’t think he’s sailed before, and he feels himself growing more and more restless as he watches the boats streak across the bay. He can almost feel the sun on his back and the spray clinging to his eyelashes, heart jumping in his chest. It hurts; how much he misses it. Beside him, Hinata is agitated, hands tapping against his legs and his eyes flitting from boat to boat. 

** **

“This isn’t fair.” Hinata frowns as he watches, hands clutching at the material of his shorts like he isn’t sure what else to do with them. In response, Kageyama nods, but he isn’t sure that he could say anything even if he wanted to.

** **

The race ends and then the boats sail for a little longer, remaining in the bay until the wind drops and the conditions become unfavourable, directing themselves back in towards the beach. It’s Tsukishima who won, they find, as the sailing club hauls their way back onto dry land, with wet hair and an ache in their muscles from wrestling with the wind and surf. And then Tsukishima himself starts walking in Kageyama’s direction, unclipping his buoyancy aid as he moves. He’s got a look on his face, the one he wears when he’s looking to start a fight, and Kageyama tries to glare as much as he can while still filled with nervous energy. 

** **

“It’s so much easier to win when you’re not there.” Kageyama can’t tell whether Tsukishima is talking to him or to Hinata.

** **

“Winning isn’t supposed to be easy.” By now, Kageyama should know better than to retaliate, because Tsukishima likes riling people up, likes getting frustration out of them. _ He’s probably just covering up some sort of insecurity, _ his mother had told him years ago, in an attempt to calm him down. _ Don’t let him get to you. _

** **

“It is when the king has been dethroned,” Beside him, Kageyama feels Hinata grow tense following Tsukishima’s words, as if expecting Kageyama to do something reckless. “I bet you miss that- being in charge.” As quickly as he had arrived, he turns on his heel and leaves again, heading back to his boat where Yamaguchi is standing, waiting for him to catch up. 

** **

Hinata sticks his tongue out, pulling a face like he’s tasted something bad. Any other day, Kageyama would have shoved him, called him an idiot for being so childish, but today he sits quietly, and he stares out at the water. The rope tied around his heart, binding him to the sea, pulls and tightens, and he feels like he’s been dragged under, waves rushing past his ears and his lungs filling with water. 

** **

“Don’t let it get to you.” He thinks Hinata says, but he can’t hear enough above the water to tell. 

** **

-

** **

It gets to him.

** **

Kageyama feels like he can’t breathe, a weight sitting upon his chest that grows heavier and heavier the longer he stares at the sea outside of his window. Everything is too still, stagnant water flows by his ears and he feels himself drown in it, hands tied by his side and leaving him unable to swim to the surface. He’d managed to distract himself so well, but living without sailing feels like someone has ripped a vital organ from his chest, something he can’t survive without. 

** **

He shuts his curtains so he can’t see the water outside, tells Hinata his arm hurts too much for him to go along to the sailing club, hides in his room and tries to remember how to breathe. 

** **

When he walks along to the shops to pick up some groceries, he considers doing so with his eyes closed, so he can’t see the boats in the docks and the waves lapping at the shore. 

** **

Kageyama is his most alive when he’s on the water, with the wind in his hair and his sails. Kageyama, stuck on land, feels like he’s moving in slow motion. 

** **

He drops the shopping on the way back to the house, eggs smashing on the pavement and leaking down the sides of the bag, and he doesn’t even think to go back and replace them. The sea is too close, and it makes him angry- how it’s so near yet so out of reach. He ignores Hinata’s texts, ignores his mother asking if he’s okay, ignores dinner and ignores the sea lying a few strides outside of his window. 

** **

He ignores it, until he can’t any more.

** **

It’s late, he can’t breathe, and he steps out of the front door, barefoot. The moon hangs low in the sky as he walks across the road, down the steps to the beach, across the sand and into the water. It’s cold, no longer the refreshing daytime shades of blue and green, but he barely notices it as he steps in up to his ankles. The water sloshes against his legs, soaking the cuffs of his pyjamas and seeping through his skin and muscles, chilling him to the bone. He doesn’t know what he’s doing- hasn’t known for the longest time- as he walks further, the water rising past his ankles, up his shins, until it’s almost up to his knees. He’s shaking from the cold as he stares out into the bay.

** **

And Kageyama feels angry, at himself, at the sea, at the world around him. He shouts and takes his frustrations out on the water in front of him- yells and kicks at the waves until his voice comes out hoarse and his breath has to fight its way in and out of his lungs. He yells until he’s shaking and he can’t shout any more, head spinning. The sea remains silent, in its own steady, ever-flowing sort of way, and Kageyama wonders if it ever cared at all.

** **

He stares across the surface of the water, scattered with the lights of distant boats, and he wonders, briefly, if he could walk out far enough to join them. There’s the taste of salt in his mouth and the sea air fills his lungs, and he feels all the fight drain out of him until there’s nothing left. 

** **

His feet sink into the wet sand below him, and the waves lap at his knees and soak his clothes. He’s shivering, but he’s not quite sure if it’s from the cold, or from the way his vision tunnels to the point that it’s just him and the sea pulling him in.

** **

Kageyama’s phone rings in his pocket, the noise startling him out of taking another step further into the water. If he had stopped breathing, the sound was a prompt for his lungs to start working again, taking in a heavy gasp of air and glancing down at where the water tugs at the legs of his pyjamas. 

** **

“You doing okay?” It’s Hinata’s voice that comes through the speaker when Kageyama raises the phone to his ear, tinny and muffled down the phone line. “You didn’t show up to sailing club and then wouldn’t answer my messages.” 

** **

Kageyama doesn’t know how he feels, but okay isn’t a word he would use. The sea pools around his knees and fills his ears with a roar. His tongue sits heavy and useless in his mouth and the words are a dead weight in his throat, so he remains silent. 

** **

“Are you there?” There’s an edge of worry to Hinata’s words that wasn’t there before, and Kageyama can almost see the way his eyebrows would furrow together and his mouth would pull into a frown. “Kageyama?” 

** **

There’s no words that he can use, nothing sits right in his throat, so he says nothing. 

** **

“Wait, why can I hear water,” Hinata’s voice feels distant, and Kageyama isn’t sure if it’s the phone line or his own ears. “Kageyama, where are you?”

** **

“In the sea.” Kageyama’s voice doesn’t feel like his own, and he takes a step further into the water, towards the boats bobbing steadily on the horizon. The moon is almost full overhead, and the sky is cloudless and filled with stars. He barely notices.

** **

“Why are you-” Hinata draws in a sharp breath, and it sounds like he’s moving. “Kageyama, it’ll be _ cold. _” 

** **

Kageyama doesn’t hear him. 

** **

“How far out are you?” 

** **

Kageyama isn’t sure if it’s him that’s crying, or Hinata on the other end of the phone line. 

** **

“Kageyama, please can you say something?” 

** **

Hinata is still speaking, but Kageyama doesn’t hear a word.

** **

“Tobio!” And _ that _gets his attention, the sound of his given name in Hinata’s voice snapping him back into focus, like someone grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled his head above the waves. “Can you go back to the shore?” 

** **

His breathing falters, body frozen in place, before he nods. “Okay.” And he does, turning and walking out of the sea, his pyjamas clinging to his skin and his feet numb from the cold water. His breath rattles in his lungs as he falls back to sit on the sand, the coarse texture under his fingers keeping him grounded, tethered to the land by his fingertips. 

** **

“Are you back on the beach?” Hinata’s voice is shaky; he sounds scared, but a sigh of relief still escapes him when Kageyama makes a small affirmative noise. “Uh, you’re gonna be okay, right?” 

** **

“Yeah.” And for now, Kageyama believes it, held to the shore by the sand under his fingertips and Hinata’s voice in his ear. 

** **

“Go back inside and try not to catch a cold,” Hinata is still speaking to him as he walks up the steps, back across the road and in through his doorway, into the darkened hallways of his house. His body feels numb, but he can breathe again, all the panic and anger drained out of him. “And don’t do something dumb like that again.” 

** **

Hinata sounds unusually serious, the light tone all gone from his voice as he talks down the phone. “Why?” Kageyama falls back into his bed as he asks, pyjamas still soaked up to the knee from the seawater. “Why do you care?” 

** **

“Because I’m your friend, idiot.” Hinata hangs up not long after, leaving Kageyama to the darkness and silence of his own room. 

And for the first time all day, he lets himself smile. Because people have called Kageyama and Hinata many things over the years- rivals, enemies, opponents- but _ friends _, he thinks, fits the nicest.

-

** **

“I have an idea.” Kageyama feels like he should know by now not to trust Hinata’s ideas- that more often than not they end up with someone falling in a bush, getting attacked by a seagull, or storming off to sulk for the rest of the day. Hinata is_ full _ of ideas, but getting them to work is a whole other story entirely. Yet Kageyama still finds himself walking along the seafront road to the docks, just as Hinata had asked. 

** **

Morbid curiosity; he tells himself. Hinata’s ideas are like a trainwreck- generally horrible but still very difficult to look away from. 

** **

Hinata is already waiting for him, swinging backwards and forwards on his crutches at the far end of the docks. As Kageyama approaches, he grins like he can barely contain his own excitement, and holds up a set of keys. He waves them triumphantly, like he would with a trophy or a gold medal. 

** **

“Ta-dah!” The flourish he presents them with indicates that he expects Kageyama to recognise them, and his face falls when he’s met with a blank expression. “I managed to convince Tanaka to lend me the keys to his sister’s motor boat.” 

** **

It suddenly made sense- the invitation to the docks, the request to pack sunscreen, the way Hinata seems ready to jump into the air in excitement. “But I thought-” Kageyama starts, but Hinata cuts him off before he can continue.

** **

“They said we couldn’t _ sail. _They never said we couldn’t go out on the water full-stop.” And then he’s grinning and throwing his crutches into the bottom of the boat, lowering himself in and beckoning for Kageyama to follow him. 

** **

Out of all of Hinata’s bad ideas, Kageyama thinks, this might be the best one. 

** **

The boat is an old thing, made of wood with very little in it aside from planks at the front and rear to act as seats, and a tiller at the stern to steer with. There’s paint on the outside that is peeling off with age, but Kageyama can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto his face as he lowers himself in and feels the boat bob underneath his weight and the comforting swell of the waves below him. It’s a clear day and the water is calm and glassy, the only indicator of the breeze being the clouds that drift lazily across the sky. The air tastes like saltwater, and regardless of how uncomfortable it is, Kageyama relaxes in the seats at the front of the boat and sighs, content. He’s fully at peace, until a thought worms its way into his head, and he opens his eyes.

** **

“Do you know how to sail this thing?” He asks, unsure if he even wants to know the answer.

** **

“Uh,” At the stern of the boat, Hinata is wrestling with the motor, evidently struggling to even turn it on. “I mean it can’t be that difficult, can it?”

** **

If he didn’t miss the feeling of the sea breeze rushing through his hair and the skip of the waves beneath him, Kageyama would have been back on the docks before he could even stop to think. Instead, he shuffles back to the stern and peers down at the motor. It looks simple enough, as he takes the key from Hinata’s hands and makes his own attempt at getting it to turn on, but finds himself scooting back to his own end of the boat after less than a minute, defeated. 

** **

“I’m not good with technology.” He shrugs, and it’s true- although in this case Kageyama is well aware that it’s a poor excuse. 

** **

“Explains why your texts are always so dry,” Hinata quips, as he pulls on something and the motor jumps into life. The exclamation of excitement that escapes him is almost enough to wipe the frown off Kageyama’s face. 

** **

“I’m not a dry texter.” Kageyama argues, as Hinata attempts to direct the boat out of the docks. He barely makes it a few meters before reversing into the boat behind them. 

** **

“You use proper grammar and everything,” Unfazed by Kageyama’s glare or the difficult nature of steering the boat, Hinata laughs. “You text like my grandma!”

** **

Despite the insult, despite the fact that Hinata keeps bumping into every available obstacle in his attempts to get the hang of the steering, Kageyama feels surprisingly light. Maybe it’s the water below him, maybe it’s the fact that he shouted all his anger out, or maybe it’s the fact that, after everything, Hinata is still spending time with him- Kageyama isn’t quite sure. The breeze whisks past his ears, and carries his thoughts with it, scattering them to the far reaches of the bay, where he can’t even see them.

** **

Sailing ability doesn’t extend to all types of boat, Kageyama quickly finds, as they take it in turns to try and steer the small motorboat out of the docks and into the bay without it sinking. It takes a lot of shouting, a lot of turning in the wrong direction, and a lot of stopping to pull up instructions on google, before they’re out into the open water. Hinata learns the fastest, so he takes over the steering fully, and Kageyama takes up his spot at the bow under the guise of playing navigator. Instead, he closes his eyes and leans out over the front of the boat, feeling the wind against his face and the waves under his fingertips as he extends an arm and trails it through the water. They sail out further into the bay, where seabirds circle overhead and the sea grows choppy enough for the boat to skip from wave to wave, a familiar lurch in Kageyama’s chest as the water speckles his face with sea-spray. 

** **

He smiles, fully and sincerely, because it feels like coming home. 

** **

“You should do that with your face more often,” Hinata interrupts his thoughts, voice sounding almost breathless. His ears are red when Kageyama turns to look at him, and he wonders if the wind at the stern of the boat is colder. “The whole genuine smile thing.” 

** **

“What’s wrong with my normal smile.” Kageyama averts his gaze, because he’s not sure if he can handle Hinata looking at him like that for much longer. He focuses on the sea instead, on the fishing boats bobbing on the horizon, on the cliffs and the seabirds that drift with the clouds in the sky. 

** **

“It’s creepy,” Hinata shrugs, laughing at the indignant shout he receives in response. “That one there looked like you were actually happy.” 

** **

Kageyama knows what Hinata is talking about- the wide, genuine smile he reserves the sea and the sea alone, kept aside for when it’s just him, soaring across the water like his sails are his wings and the wind is his guide. It’s joyful, open, and he finds to his own surprise, that he doesn’t mind sharing it with Hinata at all.

** **

Because Hinata has seen so much of him; his ugly sense of pride, his haphazard apologies, his late-night insecurities. Kageyama wonders when it was that he let himself become so vulnerable. 

** **

“Let’s go by the cliffs and watch the seabirds.” Kageyama changes the topic, because he’s not sure what he’ll be tempted to do otherwise. 

** **

They sail across the bay to the cliffs that flank it on one side, where the seabirds nest, feed and dry their sea-soaked feathers under the sunlight. They soar in circles overhead, wings stretched wide and their calls filling the air as Hinata brings the boat to a halt, right by one of the sea caves, where bats fly at night and the sea casts booming echoes against the rocks. Kageyama points out the species of birds he recognises, and Hinata tries to take photos on his phone, blurry from the constant to-and-fro of the boat in the water. They share snacks, covering themselves with Hinata’s raincoat in the fear that the birds will steal the dried fruits and biscuits from their hands, and then play I-spy by the cliffs, prompts getting more and more outrageous- until Hinata has Kageyama guessing one _ specific _ strand of grass jutting out of a nest built on the rocks, and declares it a draw to avoid being splashed. 

** **

It takes their combined effort to get the motor started again, and, after almost crashing into the cliffside, they sail back into the bay, Kageyama’s fingers trailing through the water and Hinata seated by the tiller, steering them through the waves.

** **

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hinata slows the boat down as they reach the middle of the bay, angled so they can see their seaside town sprawling out in front of them- the docks, the houses and the sailing club, boats tethered to the shoreline and the cliffs rising up on one side. His voice is quiet and uncharacteristically serious as he talks. “About a few nights ago.” 

** **

It’s not a conversation Kageyama wants to have, not out here, surrounded by water and with no escape routes in sight. But there’s something about the way the motor hums and Hinata watches him, that has him wanting to spill out his secrets regardless.

** **

So he does. “I just got-” He pauses, not sure of the right way to word it, because talking about his feelings has never been one of Kageyama’s strong points. “Stressed. I was stressed.” 

** **

“You sounded a little bit more than stressed to me.” Hinata quirks an eyebrow, disbelieving. He keeps his voice light, as if trying to stop the mood from becoming too heavy, and Kageyama can’t say how grateful he is for it.

** **

“I missed sailing so much it hurt- it’s everything to me,” As he speaks, Kageyama stares at his hands, where callouses still remain on his fingers from years of rope-burn and handling the tiller of his boat in rough seas. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life, and being without it for so long feels like I’m trying to walk around with both of my legs missing or something,” The boat is still moving slowly through the water, but Hinata is paying very little attention to the steering, instead listening to Kageyama’s words with an intense sort of focus. It’s like he’s trying to drink in every bit of information from him, learning him like he would a new sailing technique. Kageyama swallows hard. “I don’t know if you’d understand, but that’s why I got stressed.” 

** **

If saying the wrong thing was a competition, then Kageyama knows he would be winning gold. 

** **

Hinata’s expression changes to a frown in what feels like less than a heartbeat, his grip on the tiller turning white-knuckled. “I thought we were past this.” The tone to his voice is bitter, words drowning in disappointment; because when Hinata feels something, he feels it loudly, projected in his voice and his eyes and his movements. One hundred and ten percent effort, at all times. 

** **

“Past what?” Kageyama doesn’t need to ask, but he does anyway- he’s always been stubborn, always been one to avoid the subject. 

** **

“Acting like you’re the only person in the damn world who loves sailing!” Hinata’s voice is raised, and the boat rocks as he shifts his position to look Kageyama dead in the eye. “I know exactly how you feel, because sailing is my entire life- there’s so many people out there who love sailing as much as you, probably even _ more _ than you!”

** **

“Why don’t you show it then?” They haven’t argued like this in a long time, raised voices and jagged, angry words, but Kageyama can’t stop himself- because Hinata’s words feel like a challenge, and Kageyama is never one to back down. “If you love sailing that much, then why don’t you practice enough to get rid of all the stupid mistakes you make?”

** **

Hinata moves, lunging across the boat and grabbing Kageyama by the edges of his coat. His eyes are on fire and his touch _ burns, _and Kageyama has nowhere to go. 

** **

“Who said? Who said I don’t practice? Just because I’m not a prodigy like you who knows all the rules off by heart, doesn’t mean I don’t work hard!” He’s breathing heavily, close enough that Kageyama can feel it, and the tension crackles like static electricity in the air between them. “I practice just as much outside of club hours as you do, so don’t-”

** **

Behind them, the motor makes a jarring noise, one that sets Kageyama’s teeth on edge, and the boat staggers to a halt. 

** **

Hinata’s eyes widen, all anger dissipating as fast as it had arrived, as he scrambles across to the stern and curses under his breath. Kageyama has to remind himself to breathe, skin still burning from where Hinata had grabbed him and _ pulled, _before panic sets in. It’s easy to see that the motor isn’t working- the propellor under the water is completely still and there’s no comforting hum emanating from the parts situated above the waves. The boat no longer moves aside from the gentle too-and-fro of the waves, and Kageyama joins Hinata in his cursing. 

** **

“What do we do?” Hinata turns to stare at him, wide-eyed.

** **

“I don’t know- I’ve never even been in one of these things!” There’s no phone signal this far out into the bay, and the sky is starting to dim with the oncoming sunset, the sun sinking lower and lower in the sky. Kageyama does the first thing that comes to mind, and pounds a fist against the top of the motor, hoping that it will startle back into motion. It does nothing aside from rock the boat in the water. Suddenly, sailing doesn’t feel quite so fun. 

** **

“We’re gonna die out here,” Hinata speaks resolutely, and flops back in one of the seats with a laugh that sounds more terrified than amused. “I’m gonna die and the last thing I did was shout at you.” 

** **

“We’ll get back to shore.” Kageyama ventures, and it’s almost pathetic how unconvinced he sounds. 

** **

“I thought this would be fun,” Resting his chin in the palm of his hand, Hinata sighs. “But now I’m just annoyed at you and we’re stuck out here.” 

** **

The silence that falls seems to drag on for hours, the clouds drifting overhead and the cries of the seabirds the only sounds punctuating the air around them. It’s not what sailing should be, and Kageyama feels uncomfortable, the wooden seat flaking paint onto his shorts and the sea lapping unsteadily at the boat’s hull. They can see the shore from where they’re sat, and it crosses Kageyama’s mind that they might have to try and paddle the boat by hand into the docks. 

** **

“Sailing is the only way I have to prove myself,” It’s Hinata who breaks the silence first, lifting his head and fixing Kageyama with a gaze that challenges him to stay quiet. “Everywhere else I get mistaken for a kid- I still get asked for ID in fifteen-rated movies, you know- but when I sail, people see me as a threat, as someone to beat.” 

** **

He leans over the edge of the boat to dip his hand in the seawater, letting the droplets cling to his fingertips then fall like rain. “I looked up to you when I joined the sailing club. I thought you were the single _ coolest _person there, but you wouldn’t talk to me to do anything but nitpick my technique or to yell at me. I’m still not sure if I should be mad about it, or upset, or anything, but really, I just want to know why.”

** **

It drags up something inside Kageyama, something ugly that he hasn’t dwelled on in a long time, but suddenly it’s on the tip of his tongue, the front of his mind. It eats away at him steadily, nails digging into his palms, before he opens his mouth and speaks.

** **

“I was jealous,” The words taste bitter on Kageyama’s tongue, and Hinata looks up in surprise. “I was jealous of you, and I think I still am.”

** **

The shadows upon the boat lengthen as the sun sinks deeper into the sky and stains the horizon orange. At the same time as the shadows extend, Kageyama shrinks into himself, folding over in his seat like it’s a form of camouflage. _ Don’t look at me, _he tells the sky, tells Hinata- and neither of them listen.

** **

“It’s like you’re evolving- that’s what they say about you at regattas,” Looking directly at the sun is dangerous, Kageyama knows, and the same rules apply to Hinata. “Sailing is all about potential, and you’re only just getting started on yours, whereas I’m all out of it,” 

** **

_ Stories about spilled secrets being like a weight off your shoulders are a lie _ , Kageyama thinks, _ because this feels like being crushed _. 

** **

“I’m good at sailing, I’m one of the best in the area, but this is as good as it gets. I’m at the limit of what I can do.” It feels like even the sea is holding its breath, the silence feels like a roar in his ears and-

** **

“That’s dumb.” Hinata speaks matter-of-factly, leaning back against the inside of the boat and fixing Kageyama with a measured stare. Kageyama looks up sharply at his response, suddenly very unsure of himself.

** **

“What?” The words come out shaky, far from the indignant statement he wants them to be, as if all of the fight has drained out of him.

** **

“It’s dumb,” Hinata repeats himself, as if it’s as obvious and steadfast as the sky above and sea below them. “Who said you’re at the limits of your potential? Did you?”

** **

“I-“ Kageyama opens his mouth, but finds suddenly that he doesn’t know how to answer.

** **

“There’s no such thing as running out of potential- that’s just stupid. It’s not just some finite supply that you get to tap into until it’s all gone,” Hinata leans forward in his seat, and his expression is intense, a wordless challenge aimed directly at Kageyama. “You only run out of potential when you give up trying- you have a lot of bad personality traits, sure, but I didn’t think being a quitter was one of them.”

** **

“Are you trying to motivate me or insult me?” The retort comes out weak, and Kageyama isn’t even sure he tried.

** **

Hinata shrugs and avoids the question. “So you _ are _ a quitter? You just decided ‘ _ this is good enough _’ and left it at that?”

** **

And if Hinata is trying to rile him up, to get a rise out of him, then it’s working. Kageyama feels like he can breathe again, and the sea is no longer silent. He’s in full motion under the sky and the salt-logged air, and the golden stained light sets his heart on fire. Because he can’t ignore a competition, and Hinata is passing one to him open-handed. 

** **

“Of course not.” His voice finally finds some stability, and a smile creeps onto Hinata’s face.

** **

“Good, because when I win against you, I don’t want it to be without a fight.” Hinata leans against the motor and, at the slight contact, it jumps into life again, pushing the boat forwards in the water as Hinata lets out a squeak of surprise and almost topples sideways out of the boat. They stare disbelievingly at the motor for a while longer, before Hinata resumes control of the tiller and directs them back in the direction of the shore, scared to linger any longer in case the motor cuts out again. 

** **

The sky is stained in shades of gold and pink in the wake of the dying sunlight as they sail back to the docks, fragments of it scattered over the waves that lap at the sides of the boat. It’s a warm summer evening, all lazy pink clouds and a breeze that tastes like seawater, and back on the seafront, the streetlamps strung with bunting flicker on in preparation for the oncoming nighttime. 

** **

“Are we good, then?” Hinata extends his hand for Kageyama to shake. “No more fights over serious stuff?”

** **

“No more fights.” Kageyama agrees firmly. The touch of Hinata’s hand burns, but it’s in a different way to the brush of his knuckles as they fought, a warm sensation that shudders down his arm and nestles itself firmly in his chest- like even as the sun dips below the horizon, Hinata is there to take its place. 

** **

Instead of focusing on the sea below him as they pull into the docks, Kageyama finds himself fixated on the way the gold-stained sunlight catches in Hinata’s hair and surrounds him like a halo. 

** **

-

** **

Kageyama gets the brace off his elbow a few days later, allowed to ditch the sling for good and move onto stronger exercises to regain the full range of movement in his arm. He still can’t do anything strenuous- sailing is still forbidden- but he can eat with two hands again, put his shoes on without needing help with the laces, carry his backpack on both shoulders. Hinata takes advantage of it immediately, getting Kageyama to open doors for him and carry his bags- but as much as he complains, he still does it. Hinata is still on crutches, but he can walk a little without them now, hobbling down the stairs to answer the door when Kageyama calls in the morning before they walk to the clubhouse, or shuffling into the boatyard to check up on the other club members’ boats to expend some of his energy. 

** **

They’re healing in more ways than one- they still argue over petty things; where to eat lunch, who can hold their breath the longest, whether six AM is an appropriate time to wake up- but nothing serious anymore, like the conversation in the middle of the bay lead them to a deeper understanding of one another.

** **

They share articles about sailing techniques, watch videos and take notes, creating their own potential in preparation for the day that they get back in their boats and race as equals, competing to win in a way that they never did beforehand. 

** **

“If only you’d put the same effort into your homework.” Kageyama’s mother jokes after finding him half-asleep at his desk over a notebook of steering techniques and a video Hinata had sent him earlier in the day. He promises to go to sleep, then turns back to the video, because he can feel himself learning, building up new ideas and techniques and evolving in a way he didn’t know he was capable of. He asks Sugawara about his sail setting process, gets Asahi to show him methods of dealing with stormy weather, learns a new way of reading the wind from Yamaguchi, even goes as far as to ask Tsukishima to show him turning strategies. And even though he can’t put them into practice just yet, even though he’s stuck on land, he can feel himself changing. 

** **

By association, he finds himself spending even more time with Hinata, huddling together over sailing videos and websites into the early hours of the morning and getting lunch together even on the days when the sailing club is cancelled, fixing their boats in the clubhouse and eating ice cream on the beach under the sun. Hinata now knows his way around Kageyama’s house, has claimed a spot in his room that he likes to sit in, and there’s one of his shirts on the floor in the corner and a tube of his toothpaste in the bathroom that he never bothered to take home with him. If someone had told Kageyama a month ago that Hinata would be in his kitchen, stealing bites of his mother’s cooking and looking through his sailing medals, Kageyama would have walked away- but here he is, sure as the waves and grinning like the sun climbed down from the sky and made its home at his kitchen table. 

** **

The most surprising thing to Kageyama is that he finds himself welcoming it with open arms. 

** **

Having a rival is nice, he justifies to himself while lying awake on the floor of Hinata’s bedroom, someone to compete against and evolve with. He knows, deep down, that it’s so much more than that. 

** **

-

** **

“Come on, let’s try it again!” Hinata is a goldmine of bad ideas, with a bike in one hand, a crutch in the other, and a grin like the sun itself. 

** **

“We’ll crash and you’ll break your skull.” But Kageyama gets on the bike regardless, holding his breath as Hinata’s hands wrap around his waist, burying his face somewhere between Kageyama’s shoulder blades. It burns in the way that Hinata’s touches always do, and he holds the handlebars just a little tighter. 

** **

Two hands is easier than one, Kageyama finds, and cycling is a skill you never quite unlearn, so he makes it to the end of the street and onto the seafront, by the beach and the waves and _ hey, _ Kageyama thinks, _ this isn’t too bad. _

** **

Hinata blows on the back of his neck, and a shudder passes through his entire body. The bike veers off the path and into a flowerbed, and Kageyama lies amongst the petals and throws curses to the stars above them. Beside him, Hinata is sprawled out on top of a patch of beach grass and he’s laughing so hard he doesn’t remember how to breathe, hands clutching at his chest as he grins into the night. 

** **

“You’re such an idiot.” Kageyama hits Hinata’s shoulder, and he hates how fond the words sound. 

** **

-

** **

He puts a name to it on a Tuesday afternoon, sailing club finished for the day and the sun high in the sky. He’s with Hinata- when is he not, these days- sitting outside a cafe they began frequenting at just a little over a week ago, because it sells the _ nicest _sweet bread according to Hinata. 

** **

They sit on the benches outside, taking shelter from the midday sun under one of the parasols and watching the people walking by, carrying lunch or shopping or walking their dogs. Then Hinata heads inside to order, dumping his bag at Kageyama’s feet and disappearing into the doorway. 

** **

Kageyama had almost forgotten that he had mentioned earlier in the day that he was craving lemonade, so when Hinata places a glass of it on the table in front of him with a smile, he feels something close to starstruck. And suddenly it feels like his stomach has transformed into one million tiny wasps which fly around in haphazard circles, and Hinata’s smile only makes it _ worse. _

** **

“Did you want something different?” Hinata sits down and shoots a concerned look in his direction, and Kageyama doesn’t even want to know the sort of face he must be pulling. 

** **

“No, I-” Kageyama’s heart feels like it has migrated into his throat, blocking his words. “That’s fine.” 

** **

Hinata smiles, and it’s not even one of his full grins; his teeth aren’t on show and his eyes aren’t closed, but Kageyama almost drops his lemonade on the ground for the seagulls to get. The wasps in his chest hum furiously, all agitated wingbeats and nausea, and he sips on his drink in the hopes that it’ll do something to calm them. 

** **

Then Hinata’s knee knocks against his under the table, and it _ burns, _like a shot of electricity has jumped all the way up his leg from the point of contact. Kageyama chokes on his lemonade, hunched over the table spluttering as Hinata slaps him hard on the back and laughs. 

** **

Because they were never just rivals, not to Kageyama, not for a long time- he just hadn’t noticed it yet. 

** **

Kageyama entirely blames the lemonade, as he finds that the way he feels towards Hinata is something close to _ like, _for reasons he can’t quite seem to figure out.

** **

-

** **

Kageyama doesn’t realise he’s avoiding Hinata until he’s half way down the long route to the clubhouse for the second day in a row. It takes him away from the seafront, around the back of the shops and houses, and it makes him ten minutes later than planned- but it also means he doesn’t have to walk with Hinata, doesn’t have to deal with the way his heart does somersaults behind his ribcage and his blood pressure spikes every time they brush elbows as they walk. It quickly becomes like a bad habit- take the long route to the beach, hang around in the boatyard until Hinata leaves, fake physiotherapy appointments to avoid getting lunch together. 

** **

It’s a habit that sticks, because Kageyama is quite satisfied with the way things are, the teasing and competition and silly arguments, comfortable enough to not want any tricky new feelings to get in the way. So he doesn’t read Hinata’s texts, because they’ll make him smile to himself, he doesn’t get ice cream, because he knows Hinata will get some on his face and he’ll be tempted to reach over and wipe it off for him, and he doesn’t respond to the sad looks that Hinata sends him across the clubhouse, because he knows that the walls he’s constructed are weak, and they’ll break down with little resistance.

** **

“You’re sulking.” His mother catches on over dinner, as Kageyama stares into the bowl of pork donburi he knows Hinata loved last time he stayed over for dinner. He denies the claim vehemently through a mouthful of rice, and despises how unconvincing he sounds.

** **

He sleeps badly, and tells himself that it has nothing to do with the absence of Hinata’s usual goodnight text lighting up his phone screen. 

** **

-

** **

It takes Hinata three days to start throwing sad looks across the clubhouse as they help the other club members rig up their boats and learn new sailing techniques. It takes him a further two days to actually say something. The day’s sailing session started in the early afternoon instead of the morning as usual, so the sun is setting by the time everyone is packing away their things, towels draped over hair to sponge up some of the moisture and small arguments breaking out over who has whose water shoes in their bags. Hinata sits in a chair by the window, hair bathed in the misty sunlight that washes in through the murky glass as he fidgets with the brace on his knee as if it’s bothering him. It isn’t- Kageyama knows, because he’d be pulling a different expression and complaining out loud otherwise.

** **

It always startles Kageyama, to realise just how much he knows about Hinata. 

** **

The last person leaves, reminding them to lock up, and Kageyama drops the broom he’s holding back into the cupboard- technically their cleaning duties had ended well over a week ago, but other than staring longingly out towards the sea, there’s not a whole lot of other ways to spend time. The evening is warm, with crickets chirping in the beach grass outside the doorway, and the light filters through the windows in shades of pink and gold. 

** **

“Why are you avoiding me?” Hinata asks it outright before Kageyama can turn and leave, because he’s not one for subtlety, not one to sit and let his feelings eat away at him piece-by-piece. Kageyama, on the other hand- 

** **

“I’m not avoiding you.” He says it vindictively, and Hinata doesn’t believe a word of it, setting his mouth into a frown and finally taking his hands away from his knee brace. There’s a thread hanging out one side of it that he’s picked free, and Kageyama resists the urge to tuck it out of the way for him. 

** **

“So much for talking to each other,” Hinata sounds bitter as he talks- _ he has every right to be, _Kageyama reminds himself. “How long did that last then? Like a week and a half?” 

** **

Kageyama can feel the argument coming in the same way as a storm hangs in the air before it breaks, preparing lightning, rain and thunder to split the sky and shake the earth down to its roots. And like a storm, there’s nothing he can do to stop it, his only hope to prepare, and hope he can weather through the worst of the damage. 

** **

“I don’t have to tell you _ everything.” _If it’s a storm to come, then Kageyama counters with a natural disaster of his own. 

** **

“You do when it’s about me!” Hinata is on his feet, pushing his chair back with a screech of metal against wood. He’s like a forest fire and a summer storm rolled into one, and Kageyama couldn’t look away even if he tried. “I thought we were _ good, _then you just start pretending I’m not even there! Just tell me what I did!” 

** **

_ I can’t! _ Kageyama wants to shout, to run, to do anything but stand and pretend that his heart isn’t trying to beat its way clean out of his chest. _ I can’t tell you because everything would change! _Outside, the sea is calm, as peaceful as the pink-tinted sky above, but around Kageyama there’s a full-blown deluge in the making. “Stop making everything about you!” And there’s not a word of truth in it, because for Kageyama, everything is about Hinata. 

** **

Silence- the calm before the storm- and Kageyama makes to leave before it gets any worse. Then Hinata lunges at him (_ since when did he get so fast again?) _and the storm breaks. 

** **

“You’re not leaving until you’ve told me!” Hinata is shouting and there’s tears in his eyes, and Kageyama just _ knows _ he’ll say something stupid if he so much as opens his mouth, so instead he pulls, and wrenches his arm out of Hinata’s grip. The motion sends Hinata tumbling to the floor. He crashes into one of the shelves as he goes down, knocking a box of papers off it, and Kageyama goes to run, but Hinata is on him again, hands clinging onto his ankle and rooting him to the spot. It sparks something like anger in Kageyama, because really, how _ childish- _and he kicks at Hinata’s hands to try and get him to loosen his grip enough for him to pull his ankle free. Then Hinata is scrambling his way up Kageyama’s leg and grabbing at his jacket, and they’re fighting for real but Hinata’s touch still burns, still makes his heart go double-time, still makes his head spin. 

** **

“Get off me, you idiot!” Kageyama shoves at Hinata’s arms, anything to make him let go so he can run and_ run _ until he can’t go any further, anything to get _ away. _“You’re acting like a stupid kid!” 

** **

It’s the worst thing he could have said, Kageyama finds, as Hinata pulls back a fist and punches him in the face. Kageyama’s hands fly up to touch his cheek, and the venomous look in Hinata’s eyes crumbles as he staggers away and blinks back tears. 

** **

“I don’t know how to deal with you.” Hinata’s voice breaks on the last word, and then he’s grabbing his crutch and running, barely even using it to support him. Kageyama watches him go, and it doesn’t even cross his mind to follow. 

** **

Because the storm is gone as soon as it arrived, and the aftermath, Kageyama thinks, hurts more than the crash all those weeks ago ever did. 

** **

-

** **

Kageyama dwells on the argument- because there’s nothing else he can do. He thinks about the raised voices as he eats breakfast, the feeling of Hinata’s fist colliding with his face as he does the summer homework he should have completed weeks ago, the tears in Hinata’s eyes as he ran away as he lies in bed at night. The faint bruise that rises along his cheekbone is like a physical reminder, every time he walks past a mirror. 

** **

For someone so afraid of change, Kageyama finds that he’s good at bringing it about in the worst ways possible.

** **

The air is still again, the sea flat and wave-free, and any wind is barely enough to ruffle past the beach-grass, never mind carry a boat across the water- so sailing club is cancelled once again. In one way, it’s a blessing, because Kageyama doesn’t have to face the awkward silence, the questioning looks from Sugawara, the heaviness in the air that is almost enough to crush him. But at the same time, it’s awful- because Hinata avoiding his gaze with cold sincerity is better than nothing at all. 

** **

And nothing at all is what Kageyama gets- complete radio silence. 

** **

So he sits in his room, stares at the sea outside of his window, and tries to think of how to fix things. Talking has never been his strong point- he’s always preferred to let his sailing speak for him, presenting himself through spread sails and careful weather-watching. But if talking is what it takes to get things back to how they were, with Hinata knocking on his door in the early morning to watch the tide come in, or weedling Kageyama into buying him ice cream, then talking is something he’s willing to figure out. 

** **

Kageyama is quick to realise that he’s the one at fault, because his heart cartwheeling in his chest is just part of a package deal with Hinata- if he wants the playful competition and bad jokes, then he’s just going to have to live with the rest too. 

** **

There’s a post-it note on his ceiling, from when Hinata had jumped on his bed with one foot and stuck it there, and Kageyama takes to staring at it as he falls asleep.

** **

-

** **

The sailing club holds a get-together on the beach every year, to commemorate the summer season coming to a close, before preparation for the autumn regattas kicks into full force. It’s never anything special- a bonfire to sit by, some sparklers to light, some marshmallows to toast, as the sun sinks below the sea and beckons forth a sky filled with stars. 

** **

Kageyama has always enjoyed the celebration- it’s a time to relax, before the stress of balancing sailing and schoolwork piles back onto his shoulders, and the glow of the bonfire always looks so pretty against the backdrop of the bay. This year, he’s not so sure; it’s been a week since he’s spoken to Hinata, and he barely participated in the sailing season- and it’s only under Sugawara’s threats to drag him to the beach kicking and screaming that he even agrees to attend. 

** **

When he arrives, Nishinoya and Tanaka are prodding at the fire-pit with a pair of sticks, trying to prompt the beginnings of the fire into something more than a faint glow, and Asahi is hovering near them, jumping every time they put their hands too close. Kageyama sits himself down on one of the logs surrounding the fire and watches them struggle. Hinata hasn’t arrived yet, and Kageyama isn’t entirely sure if he wants him to or not. More people show up, filing onto the beach with bags of snacks to toast on the fire, a beach volleyball to toss around, towels in case they feel like a late-night swim. The sun sinks lower in the sky, and the bonfire rises into a steady blaze, eating up the logs fed to it and spitting embers into the darkening sky. Kageyama lets his limbs relax, shaking them loose as he considers getting up to join Ennoshita and Tanaka in throwing a ball back and forth on the makeshift court drawn into the sand. 

** **

“Look! No crutches!” And then Hinata arrives, storming down the beach like a hurricane. His knee brace is still sticking out the bottom of his shorts, but he’s _ running, _stumbling over his own feet as he kicks up sand and laughs. Everyone’s eyes are on him- how could they avoid looking- and it’s only once he’s close enough for Kageyama to see the faint freckles on his cheeks that he realises he’s running right towards him, entirely on instinct. “They just told me I don’t need ‘em!” Hinata raises his hands, as if waiting for a hi-five, then falters, stumbling backwards as he realises what he’s doing. 

** **

Hinata’s hands linger in the air, like he isn’t entirely sure what to do with them. Kageyama stares, because how is it possible to have missed a person _ so much _over the course of just a week. 

** **

He pulls back his own hands, and smacks them against Hinata’s so hard that it hurts. 

** **

His palms sting and his elbow creaks in protest, but the shell-shocked look on Hinata’s face is well worth it. 

** **

“I’m-” And he’d rehearsed this, in front of the bathroom mirror, fingers lightly brushing against the fading bruise on his cheekbone. Planned his apology, because planning is what he does best, in sailing and otherwise.

** **

“I’m sorry!” Hinata blurts out before he can even start, because spontaneity is in his nature, and for every one of Kageyama’s careful plans, Hinata has five fast-paced, spur-of-the-moment ideas raring to go. That’s just how things are, how they always have been, how they are always going to be. “I’m sorry- for hitting you, for acting like I have some sorta right to know everything about you, for acting all childish-”

** **

“Hinata,” For once, Kageyama tries a little spontaneity of his own. “It’s fine.” 

** **

Hinata stares at him, edged in gold by the glow of the bonfire, and sits down on the log next to Kageyama. He looks relieved as he folds his hands in his lap. “I felt so bad about it- it bruised and everything, didn’t it?” And then he’s leaning over, pressing a hand against Kageyama’s cheekbone, and there’s a look in his eyes- the same one as when Kageyama catches him staring out the clubhouse window, towards the sea. Hinata’s hand barely brushes his cheek before he pulls it away as if he’s been burned, and it’s all Kageyama can do to stop himself from chasing it. 

** **

“Doesn’t matter,” Kageyama feels his ears turn red, and hopes he can blame it on the heat of the bonfire. “I kinda deserved it.” 

** **

That makes Hinata laugh, and while it’s not the usual one, filled with sunlight, it’s enough. “You did. You were pretty mean, and you did avoid me for like, a week.” 

** **

“I’m sorry. Again.” Kageyama stares at his feet, part-buried in the sand from where he’s been fidgeting nervously. 

** **

“Whenever I think your apologies can’t get any worse, you manage to surprise me,” The sun has almost fully set as Hinata speaks, throwing splinters of light across the waves and prompting the streetlamps above the seafront road to flicker into life. “Every time we argue, they get more and more rubbish.”

** **

“We sure do a whole lot of arguing.” It’s true, because no matter how much Kageyama likes Hinata, they just seem to _ clash, _in a way that he’s not sure any amount of talking could fix.

** **

“But we do a whole lot of apologising too,” Hinata’s hand comes up to rest on Kageyama’s shoulder, and he makes no effort to move it away. “That’s the difference. We can handle it now- if we couldn’t handle it, then we’d be glaring at each other from opposite sides of the bonfire like last year.” 

** **

Last year- when Hinata and Kageyama had fought over the last marshmallow, thrown sand at one another, and caused a burning log to roll out of the fire pit, almost catching Daichi’s towel alight. When they’d sat as far from each other as possible, because they could barely stand the sight of one another, and the rest of the sailing club had just learned to adjust to the tension in the air, because there was nothing they could do to shift it. 

** **

And then this year, where Hinata and Kageyama sit side by side in front of the bonfire, and watch the sun sink entirely below the waves. They eat food and trace their names into the air with sparklers, and when Ukai sets off small fireworks a little way down the beach, they cheer together, colourful sparks landing and dying at their feet. The bonfire burns and throws its embers into the star-speckled sky, and Hinata’s head comes to rest on Kageyama’s shoulder, his hair tickling his neck and their hands becoming tangled together beside them. 

** **

-

** **

They get the all-clear from the hospital a week later- Kageyama in the morning and Hinata in the late afternoon. There’s a storm warning on the news, and by lunchtime it breaks, dark clouds and heavy winds filling the skies and rain pouring down along the seafront. Strong waves cut across the surface of the sea, and Kageyama can barely contain his excitement to ride upon them once again.

** **

It’s dark when Hinata arrives at Kageyama’s door, knee brace removed and his bag of sailing gear swung over one shoulder, huddled under an umbrella that’s doing little to keep the downpour off his clothes. Kageyama feels his heartbeat spike, as he scrambles up the stairs to throw his wetsuit and water shoes into a bag, ready to go. 

** **

“Are you sure it’ll be-” Kageyama’s mother cautions as he thunders back down the staircase, packing his things as he goes- because taking his time is out of the question. _ Safe. _The word goes unsaid, but safety is the last thing on Kageyama’s mind, so he clears the last two steps in one jump and fixes her with a steady gaze. 

** **

“I’ve waited almost _ two months _for this- I’m not letting a little stormy weather get in the way.” And then he’s out of the door, tearing past Hinata and shouting a challenge to a race into the night. There’s footsteps on the road as Hinata abandons his umbrella and sprints to catch up with Kageyama, trainers kicking up rainwater as he goes. They race along the seafront, with the waves rising in anticipation alongside them, and by the time they reach the clubhouse, they’re already soaked through by the rainwater. 

** **

Kageyama doesn’t know how he survived without this, without racing Hinata to see who can get changed into their sailing gear faster, without the motions of rigging up his boat and loading it onto its trolley, without the sand under his toes as he wheels it from the boatyard to the sea that stretches endless in front of him. It’s pouring, rainwater sliding in rivulets down his face, and the water is almost cold enough to knock his breath clean out of his lungs, but as he pushes his boat into the seething waves and follows it, Kageyama has never felt quite so at home. 

** **

He swings his legs into the hull, hands on the tiller and the ropes, and everything comes back to him, the motions as seamless and natural as breathing. Staring out into the open water, he sets his sails, catches the wind, and he flies. 

** **

From somewhere alongside him, Hinata lets out a whoop of joy, his boat skimming across the waves and into the storm, and Kageyama joins him, steering out into the open water. The wind that carries him feels like it’s made for him alone, the waves guiding him onward, and Kageyama closes his eyes and shouts, jubilant, into the night. 

** **

He’d missed this so much that it hurt, and sailing again feels like he’s finally living. 

** **

“From the docks to the big yacht moored near the cliffs!” Hinata shouts across the gap between their boats, through the wind and the rain. “One minute of handicap time for me.” 

** **

And this is what Kageyama had been waiting for- a race, on an equal playing field as true rivals, the thought lighting a fire in him that blazes even across the surface of the water. It’s night time, but from Hinata’s boat, his eyes are alight- nearly enough to bring on the sunrise hours early. All the conversations, on the docks with storms breaking above their heads, out in broken boats in the middle of the bay- all of it comes down to this. 

** **

Sailing, racing, just as they were born to do. 

** **

They line up by the docks, and then, for lack of a claxon, Kageyama counts down, loud enough for Hinata to hear him over the wind. “Three, two, one,” He readies his hand upon the mainsail ropes, reads the wind, and pulls. “Go!” 

** **

He sails out into the storm, boat skipping fast over the waves. He ducks under the boom as it swings in the changeable wind, and from behind him, he hears Hinata shout that he’s starting, sailing after Kageyama until they’re careering head-to-head across the water. It’s dark but the lights of the yacht in the distance act as a beacon for them to steer towards, jumping from gust to gust as they soar across the bay. At his left, Hinata does something with his steering that lets him pull into the lead, and Kageyama grips the tiller harder, the spark of the competition growing ever brighter. Hinata catches the wind badly and spins out, just long enough for Kageyama to pull in alongside him again, close enough to see him staring, determined into the distance. It’s like looking into the sun, almost enough to blind him, and Kageyama turns his attention back to the ocean, where it’s dark and safe and familiar.

** **

They’re equal again, tossed from side to side by the rising waves, and Kageyama grits his teeth and focuses on reading the wind. Then- he pulls the mainsail ropes in a way that he’s only learned in theory and never in practice, pulling away from Hinata at the last possible second and sailing into the lead, right as they cross their makeshift finishing line. 

** **

“I won!” He shouts, breathless and his hands stinging from the ropeburn and the cold water, but his heart is set alight regardless, enough to warm him. Hinata pulls to a halt alongside him, the thrill of the competition far from gone from his eyes as he points, accusatory, across at Kageyama.

** **

“Best of three!” Hinata shouts back, clinging to the mainsail rope to keep himself steady. It’s childish, and Kageyama wouldn’t have it any other way.

** **

They race back to the docks again, then back to the yacht by the cliffs, and then best of three turns into best of five when Hinata decides that only winning once isn’t enough to sate him. They sail into the night, until their arms are sore and they can’t feel their feet due to the cold, and Kageyama stares up at the clouds and _ laughs, _because before the crash, racing had never felt this good. They give up after the sixth race, calling it a draw of three wins to Kageyama against three wins to Hinata, and take to sailing around the bay, guided by the lights of the seafront casting their glow across the water. It’s late, and they practice new techniques, shouting tips and encouragement into the storm and hoping that the other will hear. 

** **

It’s when he’s trying out a new turning technique that thunder rolls overhead, a wave crashes over the hull of Kageyama’s boat, and he topples over sideways into the cold, dark water. 

** **

For a moment, Kageyama panics- because the memory of the rope around his wrist and the world inverting around him is all too raw in his memory. But the pain never comes, his boat topples over gently, as it’s designed to do, and Kageyama lands a little way away from it, the seawater closing over his head only for a brief moment before his buoyancy aid pulls him back to the surface. Kageyama has capsized more times than he can count on both hands, and this isn’t any different, as he kicks his feet and treads water, getting used to the cold and the waves that lap at his shoulders. 

** **

The small slither of worry that haunted the back of his mind, the tiny, conspiratory _ what if _s, all dissipate, carried away by the sea and the storm. The sea is where he belongs, and he knows that his boat will keep him safe. 

** **

“You okay?” Hinata pulls up alongside him, and, before Kageyama can say anything, he’s jumping off the side of his boat into the water too. “Cold!” He shouts, surprised, and Kageyama kicks at him under the water. 

** **

“What did you expect, idiot,” He finally lands a foot against Hinata’s stomach, the motion slow and ineffective while surrounded by water. “Help me put this thing back upright.”

** **

Working together, they get Kageyama’s boat off its side, pushing it up through the waves until the sail stands tall once again. Hinata grabs hold of his own boat and, using one of the ropes, tethers it to Kageyama’s so it can’t drift off. Thunder rolls across the sky, as they both jump onto the edge of Kageyama’s boat, the larger of the two, with their feet dangling in the water and their heads tilted back into the rain- set adrift upon the waves. 

** **

Kageyama isn’t sure who moves first, but his arm finds itself around Hinata’s shoulders, resting there lightly as they watch the distant glow of car headlights along the seafront road, the lights in shop windows, the warm haze of the streetlamps. The whole world upon the shoreline moves past, like it’s oblivious to the universe out on the water that it is missing out on. The swell of the waves rises and falls beneath them like a heartbeat, and Kageyama feels like the whole bay around them is a living being, which he and Hinata alone are aware of. 

** **

It’s only when lightning splinters the clouds and the storm grows heavier, the thunder a heady growl above them, that they separate and sail back to shore. 

** **

Kageyama is exhausted as he scrambles back onto the beach, pushing his boat with Hinata not too far behind him, struggling up the sandbank and through the waves. The moment his boat is landed, Kageyama flops back against it, staring at his hands through the rain and darkness, worn red from the ropes and calloused in the places where his fingers grip the tiller. And he smiles, that same smile that he reserves for the sea, because this is what he missed, those six weeks he was unable to set foot upon his boat, this is what he had been _ longing _ for. 

** **

Hinata ruins the moment, as he peels seaweed off the bottom of his own boat and hurls it in Kageyama’s direction. 

** **

Kageyama feels like he’s light enough to fly as he tears off across the beach, lightning fracturing the clouds above them as Hinata tries to tackle him to the ground, laughing with his hair flattened against his face by the rain. They kick up the sand and shriek and laugh, all because they can, and Kageyama’s heart beats double-time- from running or from the way Hinata is grinning, he’s not quite sure. 

** **

Their boats stand guard like pillars, with their sails extended into the sky, and Kageyama feels like a whole world full of potential is wide open in front of him.

** **

Perhaps it’s the storm that emboldens him, perhaps it’s the sound of the waves, perhaps it’s the feeling of freedom that comes with sailing- as Kageyama spins and catches Hinata by his shoulders, bringing them both to a halt at the shoreline, with the sea travelling up to pool around their ankles in the high tide. He meets Hinata’s eyes, filled with fire and sunlight and everything warm, and suddenly he doesn’t feel quite so brave. 

** **

They stare into one another as the storm rages overhead, and Kageyama can barely breathe.

** **

“Tell me if I’m reading this wrong.” it’s Hinata who speaks first, breathless. 

** **

Then he tugs sharply on Kageyama’s buoyancy aid and kisses him, as thunder clatters through the sky above. 

** **

As far as first kisses go, it’s pretty awful- their lips meet off-center and fast enough to hurt, and the two of them are shivering and soaked from head to toe, with rope-burn on their hands and rainwater clinging to their eyelashes. But when they separate, Hinata is staring at Kageyama like he has the whole world in his hands, and he finds very quickly that he doesn’t even care.

** **

They do nothing but breathe for a while, rain pouring down their backs and their limbs pressed close, Hinata’s hands a point of contact that roots Kageyama to reality, and then he can’t do anything but lean back in, kissing Hinata a second time.

** **

The second kiss is better, and the third even more so, and by the fourth kiss, Kageyama thinks he might be getting the hang of it. His hands come to land in Hinata’s hair, and he can barely feel the rain any more, like the two of them are underwater and the whole world is muted around them.

** **

They jump apart when lightning splits the sky in half, illuminating the beach with a crash of thunder that’s as loud as it is terrifying. 

** **

It’s as Kageyama picks up the trolley for his boat and runs, back to the clubhouse, that he presses a disbelieving hand to his own chest and feels his heart doing cartwheels, somewhere behind his ribcage. 

** **

-

** **

“I think I like you almost as much as I like sailing.” Hinata says it as they’re in the boatyard, taking down their sails and running through their now-identical maintenance routines, pressed up against each other as they huddle under Hinata’s umbrella for shelter from the storm. 

** **

_ Sailing is my entire life, _Hinata had once told him, out in the bay on an old wooden motor boat. And while Kageyama’s maintenance routine normally calls for complete focus, distractions meaningless, his hands freeze around the ropes. 

** **

“That’s a lot.” He speaks, almost hesitant, and Hinata nods.

** **

“It is.” 

** **

Kageyama doesn’t know what to say, so he hopes that leaning past the hull of his boat and kissing Hinata again is enough. Because sailing is everything to Kageyama, and it’s a good thing that Hinata and sailing come hand in hand. 

** **

He walks Hinata home, just as they have done all summer, except this time, their fingers tangle together as they walk, shoulders touching and fighting as they go over whose hand gets to be on top. 

** **

“Don’t think this means I’m gonna let you win though.” Hinata grins as they walk up the path to his front door, hand in hand. 

** **

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” And it’s the truth, because they’re rivals, friends, and something more all at the same time, and Kageyama wouldn’t have it any other way. 

** **

Kageyama runs the whole way home, the waves crashing against the shoreline alongside him, and he finds that he’s never felt more alive.

** **

-

** **

Kageyama Tobio pulls into the finishing line of the October series regatta in second place once again, bringing Hinata’s run of gold medals up to 16, and leaving his own number behind at 13. 

** **

It was a good race- one of their best in a long while, Kageyama and Hinata racing head to head until the last few meters, just the way they like it. And while once upon a time the loss would have stung, now it only makes his fighting spirit burn even brighter. Hinata is already pulling his boat inland, as Kageyama hops into the water and runs to catch up with him, the waves pooling around his knees like they’re welcoming him ashore.

** **

Kageyama drags Hinata in by the loops of his buoyancy aid and kisses him. He feels Hinata relax under his hands as he leans back and smiles into the kiss, lifting one hand to run calloused fingers through Kageyama’s hair. Then Kageyama lets go, and drops him back into the water. 

** **

Hinata sits, caught somewhere between coughing and laughing as he shakes droplets of water from his seasoaked hair, and Kageyama pulls his own boat ashore and runs to collect his silver medal. 

** **

Because Kageyama is nothing if not competitive, and if he can’t win in sailing- then he’ll just have to win in other ways instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then they sailed off into the sunset, happily ever after
> 
> thank you so much for reading this far! any and all feedback is very much appreciated <3
> 
> twt: bee__calm  
tumblr: bee-calm


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